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Encyclopedia > Romantic love
Part of a series on Love
Historically
Courtly love
Greek love
Religious love
Types of Emotion
Erotic love
Platonic love
Familial love
Puppy love
Romantic love
See Also
Unrequited love
Problem of love
Sexuality
Sexual intercourse
Valentine's Day

"Romantic love" is a general term referring to the connection between "love" and the general idea of "romance", according to more traditional usages of the terms[citation needed]. Historically the term "romance" did not necessarily imply love relationships, but rather was seen as an artistic expression of one's innermost desires; sometimes including love, sometimes not. Romance is still sometimes viewed as an expressionistic, or artful form, but within the context of "romantic love" relationships it usually implies an expression of one's love, or one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person. It is exaggerated or decorated (more exciting than they really are) expression of love[1][2]. "Romance" in this sense can therefore be defined as attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something or someone. Image File history File links Information. ... Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness. ... Look up love in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ... Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness. ... Image File history File links Emblem-favorites. ... Court of Love in Provence in the 14th Century (after a manuscript in the Bibliothèque Nationale, Paris). ... Alcibiades and friend Victorian view of interaction between a Greek adolescent and an adult male Lawrence Alma-Tadema, Phidias Showing the Frieze of the Parthenon to his Friends (1868) Greek love is a relatively modern coinage (almost universally placed within quotation marks) intended as a euphemistic reference to male-to... This page contains religious views on topic oflove. ... Eroticism is an aesthetic focus on sexual desire, especially the feelings of anticipation of sexual activity. ... Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. ... In sociology, familial love is a type affinity or natural affection felt between members of a group bound by common ancestry or blood ties. ... For other uses, see Puppy love (disambiguation). ... Unrequited love is love that is not reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. ... In philosophy, the problem of love questions whether the desire to do good for another is based solely on the outward ability to love another person because the lover sees something (or someone) worth loving, or if a little self-interest is always present in the desire to do good... This article is about human sexual perceptions. ... It has been suggested that Duration of sexual intercourse be merged into this article or section. ... For other uses, see Valentines Day (disambiguation). ... Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness. ...

Contents

Overview

Romantic love is contrasted with Platonic love. All usages of Platonic love precludes sexual relations, yet only in the modern usage does it take on a fully asexual sense, rather than the classical sense in which sexual drives are sublimated. Sublimation often tends to be forgotten in casual thought about love aside from its emergence in psychoanalysis and Nietzsche. (For an account of the way the modern usage of this term is distinguished from its original sense involving sublimation, see the article Platonic love.) Unrequited love can be romantic, if only in a comic or tragic sense, or in the sense that sublimation itself is comparable to romance, where the spirituality of both art and egalitarian ideals is combined with strong character and emotions. This situation is typical of the period of Romanticism, but that term is distinct from any romance that might arise within it.[3] Romantic love might be requited emotionally and physically while not being consummated, to which one or both parties might agree. Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. ... This article is about human asexuality; asexual reproduction is a separate topic. ... In psychology, sublimation is a coping mechanism. ... Psychoanalysis is a family of psychological theories and methods based on the work of Sigmund Freud. ... Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (October 15, 1844 – August 25, 1900) (IPA: ) was a 19th-century German philosopher. ... Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. ... Unrequited love is love that is not reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. ... Wanderer above the sea of fog by Caspar David Friedrich Romanticism is an artistic, literary, and intellectual movement that originated in 18th century Western Europe, during the Industrial Revolution. ... As a verb, consummate means to bring something to its completion, such as a transaction, concept, plan or action. ...


In romantic love, according to the more modern Western definitions of the term, lovers often transcend worldly qualities, not only seeking deeper love, but perhaps also raising questions about a more ultimate meaning (not an uncommon sort of question in any case). This area of concern, related to philosophical questions of identity and personhood, is addressed below (5). Furthermore, romance is not only dispersed with and even inherently related to family life, but often is to some extent or entirely free, in the sense free of interruption, or in some more radical sense, as free from various customs and traditions. The term Western world, the West or the Occident (Latin occidens -sunset, -west, as distinct from the Orient) [1] can have multiple meanings dependent on its context (e. ...


Also, romance is, or has become, a major aspect of postmodernity, and its criteria primarily includes fashion and irony. Sexual revolutions have brought such changes about. Wit or irony encompass the inherent instability of romance, fine-tuned to its late modern peculiarities. This phenomenon is often expressed in popular culture as "throwing game." Love and marriage clearly were always ironic, but not to this degree. In Marxism the romantic might be considered an example of alienation. In his theory of mimetic desire, Girard attempts to make sense of such phenomena, focusing on the conflict between romance's individuality and jealousy. Yet in its independent mode (i.e., rather than as a change within a relationship) it tends to be a tragic region lying somewhere between on the one hand an ethical, and on the other hand an aesthetic (or possibly debauched) life, combining significance with ennui. Postmodernity (also called post-modernity or the postmodern condition) is a term used to describe the social and cultural implications of postmodernism. ... This article or section does not cite its references or sources. ... Marxism is both the theory and the political practice (that is, the praxis) derived from the work of Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. ... René Girard is a French philosopher, historian and philologist. ... Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. ... Ennui (Pronunciation: ) is a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction. ...

Image File history File links Broom_icon. ...

General definition of romantic love

Within a relationship

Romantic love is a relative term, that distinguishes moments and situations within interpersonal relationships. There is often, initially, more emphasis on the emotions (especially those of love, intimacy, compassion, appreciation, and general "liking") rather than physical pleasure. But, romantic love, in the abstract sense of the term, is traditionally referred to as involving a mix of emotional and sexual desire for another as a person. However, Lisa Diamond, a University of Utah psychology professor, proposes that sexual desire and romantic love are functionally independent[4], and also, as an additional claim to the topic, that romantic love is not intrinsically oriented to same-gender or other-gender partners; and that the links between love and desire are bidirectional as opposed to unilateral. Furthermore, Diamond does not state that one's sex has priority over another sex in romantic love, because as already mentioned Diamond's theory seems to purport the idea that it is possible for someone who is heterosexual to fall in love with someone of the same gender, and for someone who is homosexual to fall in love with someone of a different gender.[5] Compare Moral relativism, Aesthetic relativism, Social constructionism and Cultural relativism. ... Italic text This article does not cite any references or sources. ... Its over and done But the heartache lives on inside And who is the one your clinging to instead of me tonight And where are you now Now that I need you Tears on my pillow Wherever you go Cry me a river that leads to your oceans Youll never... Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness. ... Definition Intimacy is complex in that its meaning varies from relationship to relationship, and within a given relationship over time. ... It has been suggested that Idiot compassion be merged into this article or section. ... Appreciation is a term used in accounting relating to the increase in value of an asset. ... Look up abstract, abstraction in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ... The classical definition of a person is a human being regarded as an individual. ... The University of Utah (also The U or the U of U or the UU), located in Salt Lake City, is the flagship public research university in the state of Utah, and one of 10 institutions that make up the Utah System of Higher Education. ... Psychology (from Greek: ψυχή, psukhē, spirit, soul; and λόγος, logos, knowledge) is both an academic and applied discipline involving the scientific study of mental processes and behavior. ... Heterosexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by esthetic attraction, romantic love or sexual desire exclusively for members of the opposite sex or gender, contrasted with homosexuality and distinguished from bisexuality and asexuality. ... Since its coinage, the word homosexuality has acquired multiple meanings. ...


In conflict with convention

If one thinks of romantic love not as simply erotic freedom and expression, but as a breaking of that expression from a prescribed custom, romantic love is modern. There may have been a tension in primitive societies between marriage and the erotic, but this was mostly expressed in taboos regarding the menstrual cycle and birth. [6]


Before the 18th century, as now, there were many marriages that were not arranged, and arose out of more or less spontaneous relationships. But also after the 18th century, illicit relationships took on a more independent role. In bourgeois marriage, illicitness may have become more formidable and likely to cause tension. [citation needed] In Ladies of the Leisure Class, Bonnie G. Smith depicts courtship and marriage rituals that may be viewed as oppressive to both men and women. She writes "When the young women of the Nord married, they did so without illusions of love and romance. They acted within a framework of concern for the reproduction of bloodlines according to financial, professional, and sometimes political interests." Subsequent sexual revolution has lessened the conflicts arising out of liberalism, but not eliminated them. This article or section does not cite its references or sources. ...


Anthropologists such as Claude Levi-Strauss show that there were complex forms of courtship in ancient as well as contemporary primitive societies. But there may not be evidence that members of such societies formed love relationships distinct from their established customs in a way that would parallel modern romance.[7] Claude L vi-Strauss (born November 28, 1908) is a French anthropologist who became one of the twentieth centurys greatest intellectuals by developing structuralism as a method of understanding human society and culture Biography Claude L vi-Strauss was born in Brussels and studied law and philosophy at the...


Romantic love is then a relative term within any sexual relationship, but not relative when considered in contrast with custom. Within an existing relationship romantic love can be defined as a temporary freeing or optimizing of intimacy, either in a particularly luxurious manner (or the opposite as in the "natural"), or perhaps in greater spirituality, irony, or peril to the relationship. It may seem like a contradiction that romance is opposed to spirituality and yet would be strengthened by it, but the fleeting quality of romance might stand out in greater clarity as a couple explore a higher meaning.[citation needed] Definition Intimacy is complex in that its meaning varies from relationship to relationship, and within a given relationship over time. ...


The cultural traditions of Marriage and betrothal are the most basic customs in conflict with romance, however it is possible that romance and love can exist between the partners within those customs. Shakespeare and Kierkegaard describe similar viewpoints, to the effect that marriage and romance are not harmoniously in tune with each other. In Measure for Measure, for example, "...there has not been, nor is there at this point, any display of affection between Isabella and the Duke, if by affection we mean something concerned with sexual attraction. The two at the end of the play love each other as they love virtue."[8] Isabella, like all women, needs love, and she may reject marriage with the Duke because he seeks to beget an heir with her for her virtues, and she is not happy with the limited kind of love that implies. Shakespeare is arguing that marriage because of its purity can not simply incorporate romance. The extra-marital nature of romance is also clarified by John Updike in his novel Gertrude and Claudius, as well as by Hamlet. It is also found in the film Braveheart, or rather in the life of Isabella of France. Marriage is an interpersonal relationship with governmental, social, or religious recognition, usually intimate and sexual, and often created as a contract, or through civil process. ... Betrothal is a formal state of engagement to be married. ... In political terms, conflict refers to an ongoing state of hostility between two or more groups of people. ... Shakespeare redirects here. ... Søren Kierkegaard Søren Aabye Kierkegaard (May 5, 1813 - November 11, 1855), a 19th century Danish philosopher, has achieved general recognition as the first existentialist philosopher, though some new research shows this may be a more difficult connection than previously thought. ... Claudio and Isabella (1850) by William Holman Hunt Measure for Measure is a play by William Shakespeare, written in 1603. ... John Hoyer Updike (born March 18, 1932 in Shillington, Pennsylvania) is an American writer. ... Gertrude and Claudius is a 1997 novel by John Updike. ... Hamlet and Horatio in the cemetery by Eugène Delacroix For other uses, see Hamlet (disambiguation). ... Braveheart (1995) is a historical action/drama movie produced and directed by Mel Gibson, who also starred in the title role. ... Isabella returns to England with her son, Edward III. Jean Fouquet, 1455x1460. ...


Romance can also be tragic in its conflict with society. Tolstoy also focuses on the romantic limitations of marriage, and Anna Karenina prefers death to being married to her fiancée. Furthermore, in the speech about marriage that is given in Kierkegaard's Either/Or, Kierkegaard attempts to show that it is because marriage is lacking in passion fundamentally, that the nature of marriage, unlike romance, is explainable by a man who has experience of neither marriage nor love. Coat of arms of the Tolstoy family Tolstoy, or Tolstoi (Russian: ) is a prominent family of Russian nobility, descending from one Andrey Kharitonovich Tolstoy (i. ... Either/Or. ...


In the following excerpt, from Shakespear's Romeo and Juliet, Romeo, in saying "all combined, save what thou must combine By holy marriage" implies that it is not marriage with Juliet that he seeks but simply to be joined with her romantically. That "I pray That thou consent to marry us" implies that the marriage means the removal of the social obstacle between the two opposing families, not that marriage is sought by Romeo with Juliet for any other particular reason, as adding to their love or giving it any more meaning. Romeo and Juliet in the famous balcony scene by Ford Madox Brown For other uses, see Romeo and Juliet (disambiguation). ...

"Then plainly know my heart's dear love is set On the fair daughter of rich Capulet: As mine on hers, so hers is set on mine; And all combined, save what thou must combine By holy marriage: when and where and how We met, we woo'd and made exchange of vow, I'll tell thee as we pass; but this I pray, That thou consent to marry us to-day." --Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II --by William Shakespear

Romantic love, however, may also be classified according to two categories, "popular romance" and "divine"(or "spiritual") romance. Popular romance may include but is not limited to the following types: idealistic, normal intense (such as the emotional aspect of "falling in love"), predictable as well as unpredictable, consuming (meaning consuming of time, energy and emotional withdrawals and bids), intense but out of control (such as the aspect of "falling out of love") material and commercial (such as societal gain mentioned in a later section of this article), physical and sexual, and finally grand and demonstrative. Divine (or spiritual) romance may include, but is not limited to these following types: realistic, as well as plausible unrealistic, optimistic as well as pessemistic (depending upon the particular beliefs held by each person within the relationship.), abiding (e.g. the theory that each person had a predetermined stance as an agent of choice; such as "choosing a husband" or "choosing a soulmate."), non-abiding (e.g. the theory that we do not choose our actions, and therefore our romantic love involvement has been drawn from sources outside of ourselves), predictable as well as unpredictable, self control (such as obedience and sacrifice within the context of the relationship) or lack therof (such as disobedience within the context of the relationship), emotional and personal, soulful (in the theory that the mind, soul, and body, are one connected entity), intimate, and infinite (such as the idea that love itself or the love of a god or God's "unconditional" love is or could be everlasting, if particular beliefs were, in fact, true.) [9] Falling in love is a mainly Western term used to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards someone, to one of love. ...


Historical definition of romantic love

In an article presented by Henry Gruenbaum, one argument is that many "therapists mistakenly believe that romantic love is a phenomenon unique to Western cultures and first expressed by the troubadours of the Middle Ages" (referencing Fisher, 1995). He continues stating also that "a recent survey of the anthropological literature by Jankowiak and Fisher (1992) found evidence of romantic love in every culture for which there were adequate data. For instance, an 80-year old Taita man recalled his fourth wife with words that could come from a Valentine card: 'She was the wife of my heart.'" Gruenbaum argues that it was mainly Christian theologians who historically wrote the most material about romantic love (referencing Solomon Higgins, 1991). He states that these particular "philosophers were primarily concerned about" romantic love's "allegedly subversive effects on society and the concomitant need to control such an irrational emotion." According to Gruenbaum, the definition of romantic love identifies three main features: "1. Feelings of longing for the other, including the desire to be intimate with them both sexually and psychologically, and feelings of loss and loneliness during separations. For example, Napoleon wrote to his empress Josephine: 'I have not spent a day without loving you; I have not spent a night without embracing you... ', 2.The experience of the beloved as special, idealized, necessary for one's happiness...,"[eg. "Zelda Fitzgerald asked F. Scott Fitzgerald shortly after they met. 'I feel like you had me ordered - and I was delivered to you.'(quoted in Fraser, 1976, p. 143)], and 3. The preoccupation with and overevaluation of the loved one." [10] Psychotherapy is an interpersonal, relational intervention used by trained psychotherapists to aid clients in problems of living. ... A phenomenon (Greek: , pl. ... For the article about the night club in West Hollywood, California, see: Troubadour (nightclub). ...


Historians believe that the actual English word "romance" developed from a vernacular dialect within the French language, meaning "verse narritve", referring to the style of speech and writing, and artistic talents within elite classes. The word was orginally an adverb of sorts, which was of the Latin origin "Romanicus", meaning "of the Roman style", "like the Romans" (see Roman.) The connecting notion is that Eurepeon medieval vernacular tales were usually about chivalric adventure, not combining the idea of love until late into the seventeenth century. The word "romance", or the equivilent thereof also has developed with other meanings in other languages, such as the early nineteenth century Spanish and Italian definitions of "adventurous" and "passionate", sometimes combining the idea of "love affair" or "idealistic quality." For other uses, see Elite (disambiguation). ... Roman or Romans may refer to: A thing or person of or from the city of Rome. ...


The more current and Western traditional terminology meaning "court as lover" or the general idea of "romantic love" is believed to have originated in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, primarily from that of the French culture. This idea is what has spurred the connection between the words "romantic" and "lover", thusly coining the English phrase "romantic love" (i.e "loving like the Roman's do".) But the precise origins of such a connection are unknown. Although the word "romance", or the equivilents thereof, may not have the same connotation in other cultures, the general idea of "romantic love" appears to have crossed cultures at one point in time or another.


Gender differences and romance

John Gray is noted primarily for his claims that gender differences are the primary causes for many of the conflicts, problems, or issues between people of opposite sex in romantic relationships. However, in most of his material he neglects to mention instances that are similar between parties of same sex not involved romantically. John Gray does not seem to argue for differences in training, education, personal beliefs systems, personal experiences and attributive personality traits as being a collective unit of causes toward disruptions, disputes, and conflicts in any type of relationship, rather he focuses his theories primarily on the more traditional approach of gender based stereotypes. One factor, however, that is an observable trait dealing with gender differences is that of physical appearance. In fact, in terms of physical appearance, the concerns about attractiveness vary so widely between the sexes that it is difficult to examine the specific terms and variables common to both genders. But if we were to observe human behaviour only, there are certain trait characteristics that can be viewed as identical and/or similar between opposite sexes, whether involved romantically or not. The geniality and humanness characteristic of a society, however, appear to always cross gender boundaries at some level. In Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus Gray argued for reciprocity, by focusing on gender differences. In this way he popularized the view that men and women have special emotional needs belonging to their sex, and that an understanding of these might contribute to the conditions for relationships, and so also to romance. John Gray (born in Houston, Texas, in 1951) writes on the fields of relationships and personal growth and is best known as the author of several pop psychology books offering relationship advice. ... A gender difference is a disparity between male and female humans. ... In modern usage, a stereotype is a simplified mental picture of an individual or group of people who share a certain characteristic (or stereotypical) qualities. ... When used with people, this term is often synonymous with sexual desirability, but can also simply mean whether or not someone is considered appealing to look at. ... Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (published in May 1992) is a book by John Gray offering many suggestions for improving husband-wife relationships by understanding the communication style and emotional needs of the opposite sex. ...


The psychology of romantic love

Greek philosophers and authors had many theories of love, some of which are presented in Plato's Symposium where six Athenian friends including Socrates drink wine and each give a speech praising the god Eros. When his turn comes, Aristophanes says in his mythical speech that sexual partners seek each other because they are descended from beings with spherical torsos, two sets of human limbs, genitalia on each side, and two faces back to back. Their three forms included the three permutations of pairs of gender (i.e. one masculine and masculine, another feminine and feminine, and the third masculine and feminine) and they were split by the gods to thwart the creatures' assault on heaven, recapitulated, according to the comic playwright, in other myths such as the Aloadae.[11] This story is relevant to modern romance partly because of the image of reciprocity it shows between the sexes. In the final speech before Alcibiades arrives, Socrates gives his encomium of love and desire as a lack of being, namely, the being or form of beauty. Deleuze linked this idea of love as a lack mainly to Freud, and Deleuze often criticized it. Look up eros, Eros, EROS in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ... Sketch of Aristophanes Aristophanes (Greek: , ca. ... Look up Myth in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ... In Greek mythology, the Aloadae were Otus and Ephialtes or Ephialtis, sons of Iphimidea and Aloeus. ... Alcibiades Cleiniou Scambonides (Greek: ; English /ælsɪbaɪədi:z/; 450 BC–404 BC), also transliterated as Alkibiades, was a prominent Athenian statesman, orator, and general. ... This page is about the ancient Greek philosopher. ... This article does not cite any references or sources. ... Gilles Deleuze (January 18, 1925 - November 4, 1995) was a major French philosopher of the late 20th century. ... Sigmund Freud His famous couch Sigmund Freud (May 6, 1856 - September 23, 1939) was an Austrian neurologist and the founder of the psychoanalytic school of psychology, a movement that popularized the theory that unconscious motives control much behavior. ...


Attraction, often based simply on common interests, can also appear mysterious and irrational, but therapists and support groups of many kinds attempt to analyze the process. Though there are many theories of romantic love such as that of Robert Sternberg in which it is merely a mean combining liking and sexual desire, the major theories involve far more insight. For most of the 20th century, Freud's theory of the family drama dominated theories of romance and sexual relationships. This has given rise to a few counter-theories. Theorists like Deleuze counter Freud and Lacan by attempting to return to a more naturalistic philosophy. Psychotherapy is an interpersonal, relational intervention used by trained psychotherapists to aid clients in problems of living. ... Robert J. Sternberg (8 December 1949-) is the Dean of Arts and Sciences at Tufts University and is the former IBM Professor of Psychology and Education at Yale University. ... Jacques Lacan Jacques Lacan (April 13, 1901 – September 9, 1981) was an influential French psychoanalyst as well as a structuralist who based much of his theories on Ferdinand de Saussures theories on language. ...


René Girard, for example, argues that romantic attraction--not marriage per se--is a product of rivalry, particularly in a triangular form, a view mostly popularized in Girard's theory of mimetic desire, controversial because of its alleged sexism. The view has to some extent supplanted its predecessor, Freudian Oedipal theory. It may find even some spurious support in the supposed attraction of women to "bad" men, i.e., implying the deflection of male aggression back toward a man and his rival, rather than their beloved. As a technique of attraction, often combined with irony, it is sometimes advised that one feign toughness and disinterest, but it can be a trivial or crude idea to promulgate to men, and it is not given with much understanding of mimetic desire in mind. René Girard is a French philosopher, historian and philologist. ... The sign of the headquarters of the National Association Opposed To Woman Suffrage Sexism is commonly considered to be discrimination and/or hatred against people based on their sex rather than their individual merits, but can also refer to any and all systemic differentiations based on the sex of the...


Girard, in any case, downplays romance's individuality in favor of jealousy and the love triangle, arguing that romantic attraction arises primarily in the observed attraction between two others. A natural objection is that this is circular reasoning, but Girard means that a small measure of attraction reaches a critical point in so far as it is caught up in mimesis. Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, As You Like It, and The Winter's Tale are the best known examples.[12] Mimetic desire is often challenged by feminists, such as Toril Moi,[13] who argue that it does not account for the woman as inherently desired. Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. ... A love triangle refers to a romantic relationship involving three people. ... Begging the question, in modern popular usage, is often used synonymously for raising the question. However the original meaning is quite different: it described a type of logical fallacy (also called petitio principii) in which the evidence given for a proposition as much needs to be proved as the proposition... Feminism is a social theory and political movement primarily informed and motivated by the experience of women. ... Toril Moi is James B. Duke Professor of Literature and Romance Studies at Duke University. ...


Though the centrality of rivalry is not itself a cynical view, it does emphasize the mechanical in love relations. In that sense, it does resonate with capitalism and a cynicism native to post-modernity. Romance, in this context, for example, leans more on fashion and irony, though these were important for it in less emancipated times. Sexual revolutions have brought change to these areas. Wit or irony therefore ecompass an instability of romance that is not entirely new but has a more central social role, fine-tuned to certain modern peculiarities and subversion originating in various social revolutions, culminating mostly in the 1960's.[14] This article or section does not cite its references or sources. ...


The process of courtship also contributed to Schopenhauer's pessimism, despite his own romantic success,[15] and he argued that to be rid of the challenge of courtship would drive people to suicide with boredom. Individuals seek partners who share certain interests and tastes, while at the same time looking for a "complement" or completing of themselves in a partner, in the cliché that "opposites attract." Arthur Schopenhauer Arthur Schopenhauer (February 22, 1788 – September 21, 1860) was a German philosopher born in Gdańsk (Danzig), Poland. ...


Romance and value

Even though there often appears to be traces of romance and love being intertwined in various cultures and socities throughout history, Gary Zukav, best selling author of Seat of the Soul and Soul Stories, views romantic love as being an illusion, stating that the concept of romantic love can never be truly fulfilling. He states that "Romance is your desire to make yourself complete through another person rather than through your own inner work.", thusly isolating the idea of romance from the concept of "true love." His argument is that "real love" is more beneficial than romantic involvement alone. [16] Gary Zukav is an American author, best known for his popular book The Seat of the Soul, published in 1989,which was listed on the New York Times best sellers list thirty-one times over three years. ...


Romantic love may, then, be a sexual love[17] that attempts to transcend, in some cases entirely, mere needs driven by physical appearances, sexual desire, or material and social gain. This transcending, ultimately, implies not just that personality is more essential, which could be considered a truism, and a view that might appear without much regard to virtue, ranging from the noble to the most shallow character. Rather, romance tends to strive to see, or suppose it can see, personality as attractive in a fundamentally higher sense. In some religions, all forms of love (and art) may be regarded as indirectly seeking God--and therefore adding to a relationship with God--whereas at the same time, such lesser objects of love are sometimes regarded as distinct from God and an obstacle in the path of spirituality. This article is about sexual practices (i. ... Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness. ... Lust is any intense desire or craving for self gratification. ... A truism is a claim that is so obvious or self-evident as to be hardly worth mentioning, except as a reminder or as a rhetorical or literary device. ...


Not only theologians, but many philosophers debate this, especially in continental philosophy in existentialism, and in analytic philosophy, in views such as emotivism.[18] Things lesser than personality, however, as well as the practical aspects of personality, always play a role in romance's arousal and justification. Existentialism is a philosophical movement which claims that individual human beings create the meanings of their own lives. ... Non-cognitivism is the meta-ethical view that ethical statements (such as Killing is wrong) do not assert propositions; that is to say, they do not express factual claims or beliefs and therefore are neither true nor false (they are not truth-apt). ...


Romance then, raises questions of emotivism (or in a more pejorative sense, nihilism) such as whether spiritual attraction, of the world, might not actually rise above or distinguish itself from that of the body or aesthetic sensibility. While Buddha taught a philosophy of compassion and love, still in his philosophy of anatman or non-self spiritual appearances are of a piece with the world and essentially empty. The contradiction between compassion and anatman seems to be a part of Buddhism. In that case a seemingly negative insight can result in very different overall views, for example if one compares Buddha and Shakespeare with Nietzsche. Kierkegaard also addressed these ideas in works such as Either/Or and Stages on Life's Way.[19] Non-cognitivism is the meta-ethical view that ethical statements (such as Killing is wrong) do not assert propositions; that is to say, they do not express factual claims or beliefs and therefore are neither true nor false (they are not truth-apt). ... This article is about the philosophical position. ... Media:Example. ... It has been suggested that Idiot compassion be merged into this article or section. ... The Buddhist doctrine of Anatta (Pāli) or Anātman (Sanskrit) specifies the absence of a permanent and unchanging self or soul (ātman). ... Søren Kierkegaard Søren Aabye Kierkegaard (May 5, 1813 - November 11, 1855), a 19th century Danish philosopher, has achieved general recognition as the first existentialist philosopher, though some new research shows this may be a more difficult connection than previously thought. ...


Romantic love is contrasted with Platonic love which in all usages precludes sexual relations, yet only in the modern usage does it take on a fully asexual sense, rather than the classical sense in which sexual drives are sublimated. Sublimation tends to be forgotten in casual thought about love aside from its emergence in psychoanalysis and Nietzsche. (For an account of the way the modern usage of this term is distinguished from its original sense involving sublimation, see the article Platonic love.) Unrequited love can be romantic, if only in a comic or tragic sense, or in the sense that sublimation itself is comparable to romance, where the spirituality of both art and egalitarian ideals is combined with strong character and emotions. This situation is typical of the period of Romanticism, but that term is distinct from any romance that might arise within it.[20] Romantic love might be requited emotionally and physically while not being consummated, to which one or both parties might agree. This article is about human asexuality; asexual reproduction is a separate topic. ... Sublimation has three separate meanings: Sublimation (physics), the change from solid to gas without passing the liquid state Sublimation (psychology), the transformation of emotions Dye sublimation, the transference of printed images to a synthetic substrate by the application of heat Category: ... Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. ... Unrequited love is love that is not reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. ... Wanderer above the sea of fog by Caspar David Friedrich Romanticism is an artistic, literary, and intellectual movement that originated in 18th century Western Europe, during the Industrial Revolution. ... This page is a candidate for speedy deletion. ...


Tragedy and other social issues of romance

The tragic contradiction between romance and society is most forcibly portrayed in Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, in Flaubert's Madame Bovary, and of course Romeo and Juliet. The female protagonists in such stories are driven to suicide as if dying for a cause of freedom from various oppressions of marriage. Even after sexual revolutions, on the other hand, to the extent that it does not lead to procreation (or child-rearing, as it also might exist in same-sex marriage), romance remains peripheral, though it may have virtues in the relief of stress, as a source of inspiration or adventure, or in development and the strengthening of certain social relations. It is difficult to imagine such tragic heroines, however, as having such practical considerations in mind. This article refers to the novel by Tolstoy. ... For the film, see Madame Bovary (1949 film) Madame Bovary is a novel by Gustave Flaubert that was attacked for obscenity by public prosecutors when it was first serialised in La Revue de Paris between 1 October 1856 and 15 December 1856, resulting in a trial in January 1857 that... International recognition Civil unions and Domestic partnerships Recognized in some regions Unregistered co-habitation Recognition debated See also Same-sex marriage Civil union Registered partnership Domestic partnership Timeline of same-sex marriage Listings by country This box:      Same-sex marriage is a term for a governmentally, socially, or religiously recognized... Stress has different meanings in different fields: Look up stress in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ...


"Romantic," as implied above, has both the connotations of courtly love and urgent, mutual physical desire, or both spirituality and superficiality. A parallel division occurs in marriage, where sexual relations prepare for and harmonize with later responsibilities.[21] In marriage this combination is considered potentially harmonious, whereas in romance taken by itself the role of spirituality tends to be discordant. The synonymous "erotic" has a more unequivocal connotation. Court of Love in Provence in the 14th Century (after a manuscript in the Bibliothèque Nationale, Paris). ...


Reciprocity of the sexes appears in the ancient world primarily in myth (where it is in fact often the subject of tragedy, for example in the myths of Theseus and Atalanta). Noteworthy female freedom or power was then the exception rather than the rule, though this is a matter of speculation and debate.[22] At the same time Christianity has had another effect on romance, by asserting the spirituality of marriage.[23] This is at least slightly ironic, since religion is the origin of much liberation and emancipation. Theseus (Greek ) was a legendary king of Athens, son of Aethra, and fathered by Aegeus and Poseidon, with whom Aethra lay in one night (By some accounts, this was presented as a rape). ... For other meanings, see Atalanta (disambiguation). ...


Later modern philosophers such as La Rochefoucauld, Hume and Rousseau also focused on morality, but desire was central to French thought, and Hume himself tended to adopt a French worldview and temperament. Desire in this milieu meant a very general idea termed "the passions," and this general interest was distinct from the contemporary idea of "passionate" now equated with "romantic." Love was a central topic again in the subsequent movement of Romanticism, which focused on such things as absorption in nature and the absolute, as well as Platonic and unrequited love in German philosophy and literature. La Rochefoucauld can refer to: François de La Rochefoucauld La Rochefoucauld, Charente, a commune in the Charente département in France This is a disambiguation page — a navigational aid which lists other pages that might otherwise share the same title. ... Hume is the name of several people: Most likely it refers to: David Hume, (1711-76) 18th-century Scottish philosopher It can also refer to: Alexander Hamilton Hume (1797-1873) Australian explorer Allan Octavian Hume, English ornithologist Basil Cardinal Hume, former Cardinal Archbishop of Westminster Brit Hume, journalist best known... Rousseau is a French surname. ... -1... Wanderer above the sea of fog by Caspar David Friedrich Romanticism is an artistic, literary, and intellectual movement that originated in 18th century Western Europe, during the Industrial Revolution. ... Look up absolute in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ... Platonic idealism is the theory that the substantive reality around us is only a reflection of a higher truth. ...


Philosophers and authors interested in the nature of love, which may not have been mentioned in this article are Jane Austen, Stendhal, Schopenhauer, George Meredith, Proust, D.H. Lawrence, Freud, Sartre, de Beauvoir, Hemingway, Henry Miller, Deleuze, and Alan Soble. 1873 engraving of Jane Austen, based on a portrait drawn by her sister Cassandra. ... Stendhal. ... Arthur Schopenhauer Arthur Schopenhauer (February 22, 1788 – September 21, 1860) was a German philosopher born in Gdańsk (Danzig), Poland. ... George Meredith, OM (February 12, 1828 – May 18, 1909) was an English novelist and poet. ... The name Proust can refer to: Antonin Proust (1832-1905), French journalist and politician Joseph Proust (1754-1826), French chemist Marcel Proust (1871-1922), French author This is a disambiguation page — a navigational aid which lists other pages that might otherwise share the same title. ... D. H. Lawrence David Herbert Lawrence (11 September 1885 - 2 March 1930) was one of the most important, certainly one of the most controversial, English writers of the 20th century, who wrote novels, short stories, poems, plays, essays, travel books, and letters. ... Sigmund Freud His famous couch Sigmund Freud (May 6, 1856 - September 23, 1939) was an Austrian neurologist and the founder of the psychoanalytic school of psychology, a movement that popularized the theory that unconscious motives control much behavior. ... Jean Paul Sartre Jean-Paul Sartre (June 21, 1905–April 15, 1980) was a French existentialist philosopher, dramatist, novelist and critic. ... Simone de Beauvoir (January 9, 1908 – April 14, 1986) was a French author and philosopher. ... Hemingway can mean: Ernest Hemingway, American writer (1899 – 1961) Margaux Hemingway, American actress (1955 – 1996) Mariel Hemingway, American actress (born 1961) George Hemingway, American businessman (born 1947) Hemingway: On The Edge, a one-man American play Hemingway, South Carolina, a town in the U.S. state of South Carolina Hemingway... Henry Miller photo taken by Carl Van Vechten, 1940 Henry Valentine Miller (December 26, 1891 – June 7, 1980) was an American writer and, to a lesser extent, painter. ... Gilles Deleuze (January 18, 1925 - November 4, 1995) was a major French philosopher of the late 20th century. ... Alan Soble is an American philosopher who is a prominent thinker in the Philosophy of Sex. ...


Properties of romantic love include these:

  • It cannot be easily controlled.
  • It is not overtly (initially at least) predicated on a desire for sex as a physical act.
  • If requited, it may be the basis for lifelong commitment.

See also

This article does not cite any references or sources. ... Biological Attraction is a biological function of the creature/human body to pair up with another creature/A particular person, Often known as Love amongst humans. ... Marriage is an interpersonal relationship with governmental, social, or religious recognition, usually intimate and sexual, and often created as a contract, or through civil process. ... Court of Love in Provence in the 14th Century (after a manuscript in the Bibliothèque Nationale, Paris). ... Erotomania is a rare disorder in which a person holds a delusional belief that another person, usually of a higher social status, is in love with them. ... Erotophobia is the fear of marriage and romantic relationships. ... The Florence Nightingale Effect is a psychological complex where people who are entrusted with the care and wellbeing of vulnerable patients begin to form a romantic attraction and often erotic attraction towards their charges. ... The Four Loves is a 1960 book by C. S. Lewis in which he explores the nature of love from a Christian perspective. ... Limerence, as posited by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person (the limerent object). ... The term love-shyness is sometimes used to designate a specific type of severe chronic shyness. ... An interpersonal relationship is some relationship or connection between two people. ... Wanderer above the sea of fog by Caspar David Friedrich Romanticism is an artistic, literary, and intellectual movement that originated in 18th century Western Europe, during the Industrial Revolution. ... For other uses, see Valentines Day (disambiguation). ... Two women share a close Neoclassical moment in Tübingen. ... A romance novel is a literary genre developed in Western culture, mainly in English-speaking countries. ...

References and Notes

  1. ^ Romance, Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary, [1], dictionary.com
  2. ^ Love 101 : To Love Oneself Is the Beginning of a Lifelong Romance (The Life 101 Series) by Peter McWilliams
  3. ^ Beethoven, however, is the case in point. He had brief relationships with only a few women, always of the nobility. His one actual engagement was broken off mainly because of his conflicts with noble society as a group. This is evidenced in his biography, such as in Maynard Solomon's account.
  4. ^ Emerging Perspectives On Distinctions Between Romantic Love and Sexual Desire, by Lisa M. Diamond (unofficial source of a scanned copy from a University of Utah Publication: Current Directions In Psychological Science. No warranty is given about the accuracy of this copy. Wikipedia users should contact the University for more information.) Full article: http://www.psych.utah.edu/people/faculty/diamond/Publications/Emerging%20Perspectives.pdf
  5. ^ What does Sexual Orientation Orient? A Biobehavioral Model Distinguishing Romantic Love and Sexual Desire, by Lisa M. Diamond (Copyright 2003 by the American Psychological Association, Inc.) For full article see: http://www.psych.utah.edu/people/faculty/diamond/Publications/What%20does%20Sexual%20Orientation%20Orient.pdf
  6. ^ Power and Sexual Fear in Primitive Societies Margrit Eichler Journal of Marriage and the Family, Vol. 37, No. 4, Special Section: Macrosociology of the Family (Nov., 1975), pp. 917-926)
  7. ^ Levi-Strauss pioneered the scientific study of the betrothal of cross cousins in such societies, as a way of solving such technical problems as the avunculate and the incest taboo (Introducing Levi-Strauss, p. 22-35.
  8. ^ The Marriage of Duke Vincentio and Isabella Norman Nathan Shakespeare Quarterly > Vol. 7, No. 1 (Winter, 1956), pp. 43-45
  9. ^ Romance In Marriage: Perspectives, Pitfalls, and Principles, by Jason S. Carroll http://ce.byu.edu/cw/cwfamily/archives/2003/Carroll.Jason.pdf
  10. ^ Thinking about romantic/erotic love: Journal of Marital and Familial Therapy, July 1997, by Henry Gruenbaum. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3658/is_199707/ai_n8768037
  11. ^ Symposium 189d ff.
  12. ^ In works such as A Theatre of Envy and Things Hidden Since the Foundation of The World, Girard presents this mostly original theory, though finding a major precedent in Shakespeare, on the structure of rivalry, claiming that it, rather than Freud's theory of the primal horde, is the origin of religion and ethics, and all aspects of sexual relations.
  13. ^ The Missing Mother: The Oedipal Rivalries of René Girard. Toril Moi, Diacritics Vol. 12, No. 2, Cherchez la Femme Feminist Critique/Feminine Text (Summer, 1982), pp. 21-31
  14. ^ A contemporary irony toward romance is perhaps the expression "throwing game" or simply game. In Marxism the romantic might be considered an example of alienation.
  15. ^ Essays and Aphorisms
  16. ^ Soul Stories, Gary Zukav-- Note: This quotation and or source may be partially or completely inaccurate.
  17. ^ "Sexual" is a loaded term, and "spiritual" is vague. By saying romance is always a form of sexual love, it is meant that while it tries to transcend these things, it never escapes their inclusion entirely and it proceeds, either in some sense away from these things in terms of origin, or toward them as in some sense subordinate to sex as a goal, though drawn to mental and spiritual qualities.
  18. ^ After the emotivist turn in philosophy, in other words, there was a pressure to reduce moral judgment to some kind of aesthetic judgment. Romantic love moves beyond bodily things on a certain assumption. In other words, any palpable aspect of the person can be cynically chalked up to appearance. What is assumed is not merely that personality is of value in a more profound sense than the body. (This is a truism easy to defend given the obvious fact of the mind as the most complicated aspect of the person and where he or she is encountered in the most distinctive and compelling way). Rather, the critical assumption is that the personality is attractive in a fundamentally different sense from the body as well. This, then is the question of spirituality in romance, taking into account many religious, philosophical and historical views. For example, in realizing that romantic love can never be inherently spiritual, one supposedly passes to a higher spiritual plane, beyond the worldly, which Buddhism may answer with the notion of anatman.
  19. ^ "In the first place, I find it comical that all men are in love and want to be in love, and yet one never can get any illumination upon the question what the lovable, i.e., the proper object of love, really is." (Stages p. 48). Nietzsche, while he might answer negatively to the Platonic theory of love as having a transcendent object, being a naturalist, was more interested intellectually in marriage than in romance, as evinced by the many aphorisms on marriage in Human All Too Human. In any case, Nietzsche is often taken as diammetrically opposed to Kierkegaard, of whom there is often supposed mention in Thus Spake Zarathustra alongside Leo Tolstoy. (Shakespeare raises a similar criticism about the meaning of love in Measure for Measure, and Love's Labors Lost is often considered Shakespeare's encomium on love.
  20. ^ Beethoven, however, is the case in point. He had brief relationships with only a few women, always of the nobility. His one actual engagement was broken off mainly because of his conflicts with noble society as a group. This is evidenced in his biography, such as in Maynard Solomon's account.
  21. ^ see Alex Comfort.
  22. ^ Cf. Hegel's Philosophy of History, or womenintheancientworld.com.
  23. ^ Catechism of the Catholic Church
  • Kierkegaard, Søren. Stages on Life's Way. Transl. Walter Lowrie, D.D. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1940.
  • Levi-Strauss, Claude. Structural Anthropolgy. London: Allen Lane, 1968; New York: Penguin Books, 1994. Structural Anthropology. (volume 2) London: Allen Lane, 1977; New York: Peregrine Books 1976.
  • Nietzsche, Friedrich. Human, All Too Human. Transl. R.J. Hollingdale. Cambridge: Cambridge University, 2nd Edition, 1996.
  • Wiseman, Boris. Introducing Levi-Strauss. New York: Totem Books, 1998.
  • Denis de Rougemont, Love in the Western World. Pantheon Books, 1956.
  • Francesco Alberoni, Falling in love, New York, Random House, 1983.

  Results from FactBites:
 
Romantic Love (5697 words)
Romantic love is a unique emotional state of intense excitement, great calm, or enhanced well-being in the presence of the other (Liebowitz, 1983).
According to Rand (1969), romantic love is an integrated conscious and unconscious response of mind and body to one's highest values as seen in another person.
Love can be considered not only as an emotion but as an attitude, a process, state, or disposition (Kelley, 1983; Murstein, 1988) with a tendency to take some action in regard to the other (Branden, 1988; Maslow, 1970).
Love in Four Acts: What is Romantic Love? (2338 words)
In a strange way, romantic love is the least understood part of the human psyche because we are content in believing that “it just happens”, that it is something so sacred that it clearly resists rational understanding, or that it is an entirely different experience for everyone such that it is impossible to articulate.
She noted that “love” is an emotion that is acted on, while “limerence”; is more of a transformed state that people go into (the difference in the proverbial “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”).
Romantic love and all its implications are deeply rooted in our culture, and perhaps these irrational reactions have evolutionary underpinnings, but that does not mean we have to be imprisoned by them.
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