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Encyclopedia > Reverend Lovejoy

This article contains a list of recurring characters from The Simpsons with descriptions.

Contents

Artie Ziff

Artie Ziff, first seen as Marge Simpson's prom date with "busy hands" in high school, in a later episode was revealed to have become a nerdy software millionaire. His wealth came from a device that transforms modem noise into easy listening music. In that episode, he offers a small fortune for a night with his childhood love, Marge, in parody of the movie Indecent Proposal.


Later in the series, Ziff returns. It is revealed that he ran his company, Ziffcorp, into the ground spending investors' money on such extravagant items as solid gold underpants (a parody of the excesses of the Dot-Com era). He would party with Newt Gingrich, Janeane Garofalo, and Scottie Pippen. But he lost all his money and secretly moved into the Simpsons' attic. When Homer wins 98% of the company from Ziff in a game of poker, Homer is held legally responsible when the Securities and Exchange Commission comes to arrest Ziff. Homer goes to jail until Ziff turns himself in, and Ziff immediately begins putting out other prisoners' cigarettes with a squirt bottle as the episode ends. The Simpsons family suggests that we may not see Ziff alive again because of this. Artie Ziff was voiced by Jon Lovitz.


It has been said that this character is loosely based on Robert D. Ziff, (R.D. Ziff.) The real Mr. Ziff is 38 years old, and is one of the richest people in the country. (Currently #165 in the Forbes 400.) He went to Harvard with one of the writers of the Simpsons.


Baby Gerald

Baby Gerald is Maggie Simpson's nemesis, although they have only come into actual conflict once. When Lisa Simpson rescued her sister, however, Maggie started to cry (though Lisa didn't notice). He is distinguished by his unibrow.


Bumblebee Man

Bumblebee Man is a fictional character in the animated television show The Simpsons. A common fanon name for the character is Pedro, though he was once referred to as "Nigel" when he covered for Kent Brockman, local anchorman.


"Bumblebee Man" is a Hispanic television actor who appears on a television show (within the Simpsons universe) dressed in a bumblebee costume. His show consists of simple skits, often involving heavy slapstick, pastiching cheap mexican tv.


Bumblebee Man never takes off his costume, even when appearing in public, except in the episode "22 Short Films About Springfield." In that episode we see Bumblebee Man's private life and realize he is innately clumsy rather than simply acting as such.


He is a caricature of "El Chapulin Colorado" (The Red Grasshopper), a character played and created by Mexican television comedian Chespirito.


Captain Horatio McAllister

Captain Horatio McAllister, more recently known simply as the Sea Captain, is the owner and operator of "The Frying Dutchman" seafood restaurant, as well as several ships. He speaks with strong seafaring accent, and has unrivalled knowledge of all things seaworthy. Once claimed to be the only one who knew how to stop the dolphins' invasion of Springfield. Also suggested a solution to remove chewing gum from Lisa's hair, it was as follows: "Yarrg, what ye need is a Baltic Squid, they can suck the bolts right out of a submarine! Yarg." Under his breath, he once declared, "Yargh, I hate the sea, and everything in it!". He has claimed to have two glass eyes and once used this claim to explain his tendency to crash ships into large objects.

(meeting Homer) I am the sailing instruct-arrrrr. And on movie night, I run the project-arrrrr. Only PG, nothin' Rrrrrr. Yarrrr.

Cletus Delroy

Cletus Delroy
Cletus Delroy

Cletus Delroy or Cletus Spuckler (voiced by Hank Azaria) is a "slack-jawed yokel," a stereotypical hillbilly character. As once introduced in song: "Most folk'll never eat a skunk / and then again some folk'll, / like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel!" (second verse goes, "Most folk'll never lose a toe / but then again some folk'll, / like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel!") (complete with a follow-the-bouncing-ball).


Generally a good-natured fellow, Cletus has been known to take advantage of others, as when he presents Marge with 300 coupons for free pretzels from her pretzel business. Cletus has 27 children: Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumor, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Clo, Max, Hunter, Rubella, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sascha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, and Phail, as well as a wife, Brandine, who refused to wear boots to her strip club audition on the grounds that it would scuff up the stage, telling Cletus he "best take 'em back where from ya got'em." It is also implied that Cletus and Brandine are siblings, as in one episode they are parked at an auto racing event, and Brandine remarks "Why did you have to park so close to my parents?" to which Cletus responds "Hey, they're mah parents too!"


Cletus' last name is either "Delroy" or "Spuckler"; the Simpsons 2002 Trivia Calendar indicates the former, while at least two episodes (the first being Sweets and Sour Marge, in which Cletus signed his name to Marge's petition to ban sugar from Springfield, and the second being Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays in which it appears on the screen in a news report) give his name as "Spuckler", as well as in "The Simpsons: Hit and Run" video game, where the mailbox outside his shack says "Spuckler".


Cletus was first introduced in season five episode where Bart gets an elephant saying look at those crazy people when Lisa makes a referance to slack-jawed yokels.


Colonel Antoine "Tex" O'Hara (Rich Texan)

Colonel Antoine "Tex" O'Hara, also known as the Rich Texan, is the owner of many a sports team or investment opportunity, and owner of a dude ranch called Lazy-I-Ranch. In place of a catchphrase, he is often seen jumping and tossing his hat while shouting, "Yee-haw!" and firing pistols into the air. He is also the owner of the Omni-Pave Corporation, which is "sensitive to all your (our) eco-concerns", and a member of the Republican Party. He was also the owner of a female greyhound who fell in love with Santa's Little Helper, She's The Fastest. An oil tycoon, O'Hara owns a travelling carnival which Homer and Bart had to work at after Bart wrecked Hitler's car, and O'Hara is a humidor maker.


For his habit of shooting bullets into the air, the Texan went to jail for six months since one of his bullets hit a Texas ranger. He seems to be having difficulty adjusting to blanks.


Cookie Kwan

Cookie Kwan is a Korean-American realtor who runs her own realty business. She touts herself as being "number one on the West Side." She used to work at Lionel Hutz's Red Blazer Realty office, in her first appearance, in episode 5F06, "Realty Bites".


Crazy Jewish Guy

The Crazy Jewish Guy is a resident of the Springfield Retirement Castle. He is often seen with Grandpa Simpson and Jasper. He often yells at people and is sometimes seen owning a store.

Where are you going at this hour? Hey, you'll scratch off them heads!

Disco Stu

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Disco Stu

Disco Stu is a disco afficionado. He is usually featured wearing a rhinestone-encrusted jumpsuit. He often refers to himself in the third person (putting a big emphasis on "Stu" and then pausing before saying anything else) and is noted for being mentally stuck in the Disco Era.


He first appeared during a Springfield-wide yard-sale day. Homer was reminiscing about his "disco stud" sequined jacket from the 1970s, that only read "Disco Stu" since he ran out of room on the back of the jacket. Marge told Homer that the jacket wouldn't sell. Someone exclaims, "hey, Stu, you should buy that" to which he replies, "Disco Stu doesn't advertise!" He doesn't buy the jacket. In another episode he says "Disco Stu got hooked on the white stuff in the seventies," and gets a bag of sugar.


Disco Stu has also been seen with dead goldfish in his platform shoes, hitting on Marge Simpson at a ski lodge (until he finds out she has children), telling his troubles to a taxi driver with a hidden camera, dancing with Homer after Homer discovers his love of walking, and, most recently, a regular on Homer's talk show. During the "taxi cab confession", Disco Stu revealed that he's actually really worried that he's let Disco define him as a person.


Disco Stu has also been parodied as a "Discus Stu" in an "Odyssey" parody, which takes place in Ancient Greece (he is a suitor to Odysseus' wife, Penelope). We later find out Discus Stu has enough Ouzo for Two-zo. (Stu and Bart.) He calls himself "Disco Shrew" in Treehouse of Horror XIII, in the segment where Dr. Hibbert goes mad and turns everybody into animals (As Stu was turned into a rodent-like creature).

"Did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continue... AAY!"

Dr. Julius Hibbert

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Dr. Hibbert

Dr. Julius Hibbert is the Simpson family physician. Voiced by Harry Shearer, he is a kind-hearted family doctor, a genius, a graduate of the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and Mensa member, and is one of the few regular African-American characters on the series. Hibbert is noticeably less dysfunctional than just about everyone else on the show, though he does have a bizarre tendency to laugh at inappropriate moments. He also gives silly solutions to certain medical problems. For example, when Maggie saved Homer from drowning, he replied to Marge's question "How can a baby save the life of a full-grown man?", "It's very simple. When an adult's life is in danger, a child can summon superhuman strength!" Or when Homer lost a thumb, Dr. Hibbert tells him that his Finger Insurance will not cover reattachment (as a thumb is not a finger) and suggests he can remove the other thumb for symmetry.


He is often seen in flashbacks (for example, Lisa's birth, or Bart's accidents as a toddler), and each time has a different hairstyle (afro, Bob Marley-ish, Mr. T, etc.), as appropriate for the time period. He is married; he and his wife Bernice have three children, two boys and a girl, with the older son being a teenager (a parody of Cliff Huxtable's son on The Cosby Show). When his entire family is seen together, they appear to be a spoof of The Cosby Show.


Dr. Hibbert was intended as a female character based on comedian and former Saturday Night Live cast member Julia Hibbert, better known as Julia Sweeney. When the Fox network moved "The Simpsons" to Thursdays opposite NBC's top-rated "The Cosby Show", the show's producers completely redesigned Dr. Hibbert as a parody of Cosby's character Dr. Cliff Huxtable. Another possible influence in the creation of the character is basketball player Julius Erving, who was nicknamed Doctor J.


It's implied that he and Bleeding Gums Murphy are long-lost brothers. Also, he bears a striking resemblance to the director of the Shelbyville orphanage, which may or may not be coincidence (especially considering that the latter mentions a personal quest to find his long-lost twin).


Dr. Marvin Monroe

Dr. Marvin Monroe is a goofy, strangled-voiced local psychiatrist, once Mr. Burns' therapist. Monroe also promoted series of subliminal weight-loss audio cassettes. He apparently died between the sixth and seventh seasons, and the Springfield hospital has been named in his honor. His grave could also be seen in the graveyard in the episode, " Alone Again, Natura-Diddly." Monroe's disappearance is an example of Chuck Cunningham syndrome.


Monroe was voiced by Harry Shearer, who reportedly wanted Dr. Monroe removed from the show because doing the character's voice hurt his larynx. Dr. Monroe did make a later appearance in the episode "Diatribe of a Mad Housewife," claiming that he has been "very sick".


Dr. Nick Riviera

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Dr. Nick Riviera

Dr. Nick Riviera (voiced by Hank Azaria) is a quack physician. Riviera is of Hispanic descent (one of his ads even states that he is able to speak Spanish), and has a medical degree from a community college (at which he apparently spent much of his time prescribing "anything I want" to a succession of attractive women back in the 1970s), and a great deal of luck. Dr. Riviera also studied at the Hollywood Upstairs School of Medicine.


He frequently appears on infomercials pitching all sorts of bizarre medical offers and turns his operations into TV spectacles. He is also shown as an inventor/huckster (in the style of Ron Popeil) on the television show "I Can't Believe They Invented It!"


Dr. Nick is notable for his exclamation upon entering a room of "Hi, everybody!" which is followed by a response of "Hi, Dr. Nick!" from the other characters. There was an Austrian version of "Dr". Riviera in one of the episodes, and his exclamation is "Gutentag, everybody!" Another variation is an episode where Mel Gibson says, "Hi, everybody!" and Dr. Nick responds with "Hi, Mr Gibson", then saying to himself, "That felt weird".


He has operated on the Simpson family a couple of times (when they can't afford Doctor Hibbert), notably when Homer Simpson could not afford a heart bypass from his regular doctor. Lisa Simpson attended the live audience for the operation and saved the day by guiding the obviously clueless Dr. Riviera through the operation.


The character design is based somewhat on Gabor Csupo, of Klasky Csupo studios - the animators mistakenly believed Hank Azaria was impersonating Gabor. He may also be based on Elvis Presley's personal physician, a man of Greek descent and questionable ethics who was said to have pumped Presley so full of prescription drugs in his later years that it ruined the singer's health and eventually killed him.

I will perform any operation for the low, low price of $129.95!

Call 1-600-DOCTORB! The 'B' is for 'bargain'!

This won't hurt a bit, until I jam this down your throat!

The coroner? I am so sick of that guy!

Inflammable means flammable?? What a country!

When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain getting damaged?

Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want!

(Said upon seeing Jasper frozen in a Quik-E-Mart freezer)

"Hi, frozen body!"

(Said while staring at an anesthetized patient's torso, just before the patient slips into unconsciousness):

What the hell is that?

(Singing, during surgery):

The knee bone's connected to the - something
The something's connected to the - red thing
The red thing's connected to my - wristwatch... Uh oh.

Drederick Tatum

Drederick Tatum is a professional boxer. He has appeared in several episodes, most notably when Homer becomes a boxer. Tatum is a parody of Mike Tyson; he has a similar criminal record and lisp. Tatum's manager is a Don King lookalike named Lucius Sweet.


Duff man

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Duff Man

Duff man is the mascot and spokesman for the Duff Beer company. He is an athletic and smooth-talking corporate personality who wears blue and red tights, a red cape, white gloves, and the name "Duff" emblazoned across his chest. The ensemble features a red hat, dark sunglasses, and a belt of beer cans around his waist.


Though he is the corporate tool of Duff Beer, in one episode he was torn between the company he loved and the truth of the local team, the Isotopes, about how they were going to be moved to Albuquerque. In the tange, Duffman followed the slogan What would Jesus do and sided with Homer.


It was revealed that he is Jewish in the episode where Homer and Marge attend Oktoberfest. Ironically, he exclaims "This Reich will last a thousand beers!"


Duff man is generally known for his methodically slow speech, complete with dramatic pauses and ending with a suggestive "Oh, yeah!" He also refers to himself in the third person.


In his own words: "Duff man can never die, only the actors who portray him." His real names have been said to be Sid, Larry, and Barry.


Fat Tony

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Fat Tony

Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico (voiced by Joe Mantegna) is the local Mafia Don. His real name was said to be William Williams in an episode where Bart was working part time for the Mafia at the "Legitimate Businessman's Club". In another episode, Frankie "The Squealer" reveals Fat Tony's real name to be Marion (possibly a reference to John Wayne's real first name). Fat Tony is a pastiche of characters from endless Mafia movie and TV dramas. His fellow mobsters include Joey, Legs, and Louie. And, occarionally, Johnny Tightlips. Tony's schemes have ranged from selling rat milk to schoolchildren to the illegal fireworks racket, which were stored in a cave in the woods that Bart and Milhouse accidentally discovered. He once went to war with the local Yakuza over conflicts in the Pretzel business.


The Simpson family has come into contact with him on several occasions. In a thinly-disguised parody of Goodfellas, Bart gets a job serving drinks in the Mafia's local bar (complete with card table with every chair facing the wall). On another occasion, Homer gets mistaken for Krusty the Klown, who owes Fat Tony gambling debts. In "Insane Clown Poppy", Krusty bets his daughter's violin in a poker game, which Homer is sitting in on; Homer is later shot in the arm for helping to sneak into Tony's compound to get it back, and for mouthing off to the hoods afterwards. In still another run-in, Tony put out a contract on Homer after his private security business interfered with the mob's interests. Homer would have been executed gangland-style if not for Maggie coming to the rescue with her shotgun.


Fat Tony imitates Marlon Brando in one episode, performing the orange-in-the-mouth bit from The Godfather to amuse his cohorts. Interestingly, Mantegna appeared in the third installment of the movie, which Tony complains, in the same episode, wasn't as good as the first two.

Police Chief Wiggum: You wouldn't happen to know anything about a cigarette truck that got hijacked on Route 401?
Fat Tony: What's a truck?
Police Chief Wiggum: Don't play dumb with me...
Fat Tony: You have 24 hours to give us the monies, and to show you we're serious, you have 12 hours.

Gil

Gil (Voiced by Dan Castellaneta) is a perpetual loser, a nervous, middle-aged man with the inability to hold a steady job, due to strings of misfortunes that tend to hit him at the worst times. He has been seen holding any number of small menial jobs, including used car salesman, doorbell salesman, real estate salesman, Coleco computer salesman, and newspaper subscription salesman. Since the departure of Lionel Hutz from the series, Gil has been used as a cheap replacement lawyer in court scenes.


The character is based on Jack Lemmon's portrayal of salesman Shelley "The Machine" Levene in the 1992 movie adaptation of David Mamet's Pulitzer prize-winning play Glengarry Glen Ross.


That's it. Drool all you want. You can't hurt that paint job. Now rain water, that'll take right off. Oh man! Why didn't I close the deal?


Homer: Now I'm not a man of words.
(Reallllly long silence)
Gil: You gotta say something! She's looking at twenty years! And my legal license expires in 15 minutes!


Hans Moleman

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Hans Moleman

Hans Moleman is a 4'5" mole-like man with extremely bad luck. Although apparently elderly, he claims to be only in his mid-thirties. He has cataracts and is partially blind, cannot read, and uses medical marijuana. He is secretly the leader of an underground civilization in the style of the Mole People.


Hans drives a 1977 AMC Gremlin, and carries a brown cane with him everywhere. He has a slight crush on either Patty or Selma. He runs an early morning radio show, on which he introduces himself as "This is Moleman in the Morning, Good Moleman to you".


When Homer hired cult deprogrammers to return Bart to him, they kidnapped Hans by mistake. He was soon "deprogrammed" and returned to Homer and Marge: "Mom, Dad, I missed you. Cowabunga, dudes!"


He once created a "hit movie", called "Man gets hit by football." The highlight of this film (in fact, the only scene) is reminiscent of the "Funniest Videos" television shows: Hans awaits a passed football, but he misses the catch, the ball hits him in the crotch, he falls to the ground in pain.


Hans has escaped death innumerable times: Burns drills into Hans's head (when he mistakes Hans for a Leprechaun and looks for his lucky charms). He drowns in quicksand. Is run off the road. Run over by Homer J. Simpson. Fell out of a window. He was "absorbed" by a huge bubble a la The Prisoner. Dr. Hibbert forgot Hans and left him in a fluoroscope. A scene in one episode has him about to be executed in Springfield Jail. Once he's even buried alive.

Please take me somewhere happy.

My doctor never told me that. I had to hear it from Phish. (upon learning that his body is in terrible shape)

Alcohol has ruined my life... I'm only 31 years old!!!

I think that I shall never see: / My cataracts are blinding me.

Herman

The owner of a military antiques store.


Voiced by Harry Shearer. He is the owner of Herman's Military Antiques, and dresses in military fatigues. He only has one arm; the other arm was lost by sticking it out of the window of a moving bus, although the writers had originally intended for him to give a different reason each time he appeared. His voice is similar to that of George H.W. Bush.


He is friends with Abraham Simpson, to whom he sold a Shriner's hat, though he claimed it was from Napoleon. He later negotiated a peace treaty between Bart Simpson and the bully Nelson Muntz. He also tried to sell counterfeit jeans out of the Simpson's garage, but was foiled by Marge Simpson.


Herman possesses a small scale tactical nuclear bomb, designed by the government during the 1950's to be dropped from a B-52 onto Beatniks. He keeps it in a plot of land behind his store, and usually only brings potential buyers to see it on special occasions: when Homer and his friends were buying dozens of guns, Herman assumed they were a bachelor party of some kind, but when Homer told him they were forming a vigilante movement, Herman brought him to see the Bomb. The Bomb has a sign next to it which reads "Do Not Ride The Bomb", a rule which Homer broke (spoofing Dr. Strangelove).


Hyman Krustovsky

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Hyman Krustovsky (originally voiced by Jackie Mason and later by other actors) is the father of Krusty the Klown. He is the rabbi at the local synagogue. Krusty and his father became estranged when Hyman discovered that his son was the entertainment at a dinner he was attending. Hyman very strongly disapproved of his son's profession and the disrespect he had for his Jewish heritage. Thanks to the efforts of Bart and Lisa, the pair were reunited and made amends. More recently, Hyman officiated at his son's belated Bar Mitzvah.


He was First introduced in the season three episode Like Father Like Son where everyone finds out Krusty is Jewish


Jack Larson

Jack Larson is a slick spokesman for Laramie cigarettes and once owned the Springfield Isotopes.


Jasper

Jasper is a somewhat senile resident of Springfield Retirement Castle and a good friend of Abraham Simpson.


When called in to help replace teachers (who are on strike), he gets his beard stuck in a mechanical pencil sharpener; while teaching he also confiscated everything in the room made of tin, and two children passed out from the fumes of his ointment; he also threatens everyone with 'a paddlin'. When kids steal the electronics from the TV set in the Retirement Castle, replacing them with a cat, Jasper stares at the cat in the television, pressing buttons on the remote while mumbling "Two hundred channels and nothing but cats". After becoming stuck in a freezer, he was briefly showcased as the Kwik-e-mart attraction Frostilicus.


Jasper was also shot in his wooden leg by Waylon Smithers while walking down the sidewalk.

You shot who in the what now? - Jasper

Jebediah Springfield

The historical founder of Springfield.


Jebediah Obadiah Zachariah Jedediah Springfield, is the purported historical founder of the town of Springfield. Springfield had many famous quotations, such as "A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man", and was well known for his silver tongue (literally; the silver tongue was a prosthesis, his original tongue having been bitten off by a Turk in a barroom brawl).


Springfield led a band of wagons westward along with his partner Shelbyville Manhattan; but they parted ways when Manhattan wanted to found a town where people could marry their cousins, and Springfield wanted a town devoted to chastity, abstinence, and a flavourless mush he called root-marm. Manhattan went on to found the rival town of Shelbyville.


On an expedition to Springfield's historic "Fort Sensible," Bart Simpson uncovered inconsistencies in the Jebediah legend. Lisa Simpson later proved that "Jebediah Springfield" was a bloodthirsty pirate and enemy of George Washington named Hans Sprungfeld, who had changed his name to hide and who hated the town of Springfield.


Springfield is said to have dramatically killed a bear with his bare hands. A statue of this sits in the center of the Springfield town square, in front of the city hall. Contemporary historians believe the bear in fact probably killed him. The Springfield Marathon commemorates an occasion on which he ran across six states in order to avoid his creditors.


Jeff Albertson (Comic Book Guy)

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Jeff Albertson, AKA Comic Book Guy

Jeff Albertson (known as "Comic Book Guy") is the proprietor of "The Android's Dungeon," a local comic book shop. Voiced by Hank Azaria, the fat, hirsute, surly character is known for his sarcastic quips to customers. He holds a master's degree in folklore and mythology. His catchphrase is the declaration "Worst. _____. ever.", which is usually delivered with slight pauses between each word, and an emphasis on the "ever." His other, but rarely used catchphrase is "Best. ____. ever." Both of which are very popular on internet message boards. The character of Jeff Albertson is said to be mocking of certain Simpsons fans who would race to the Internet to criticize the producers and writers of an episode and declare such episode to be the "Worst Episode Ever".


A noted science fiction buff, he has a bumper sticker that reads "MY OTHER CAR IS THE MILLENNIUM FALCON," given to him by a Harrison Ford-lookalike. His license plate is NCC-1701, the registry number of Star Trek's USS Enterprise. The contents of his display case include, among other oddities, a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide. He wears prescription pants, and in the 14th Halloween episode revealed he had a "Jabba the butt" tattoo in the appropriate place. He also owns a T-shirt that says "C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN1". He is a fan of the comic strip Hi & Lois. His store contains a section full of illegal videos (which include Mr. Rogers drunk, a top secret American nuclear war strategy, and local news reporter Kent Brockman picking his nose). He once had to give up the Ultimate Belt (which he won as a doorprize at the Star Trek Convention) because he, like most trekkers, had no use for a medium sized belt. He was a virgin well into his forties. At one time he was romantically involved with Principal Skinner's mother Agnes; later, he dated Skinner's fiancee, Edna Krabappel. Comic Book Guy was once married, in an online fantasy game. He and his internet wife were thinking of having children, but that would have severely drained his power crystals.


In an old interview, Matt Groening stated that Comic Book Guy's original name was Louis Lane (a play of Lois Lane's name). Though he was only referred to as "Comic Book Guy" in the show, this was thought to be his real name. A long running gag on the show was to have never revealed Jeff's name (only calling him "Comic Book Guy"). Other characters usually referred to him by name as "Comic Book Guy." The gag concluded on the February 6, 2005 episode, when he told Ned Flanders that "my name is Jeff Albertson, but everyone calls me Comic Book Guy".


I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them!


I am interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud connection to a 1.4 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my Token Ring Ethernet LAN configuration?


Once again, my buttocks are caught in a cow-catcher... - Comic Book Guy


Johnny Tightlips

A member of the Mafia and associate of Fat Tony. He says very little, which spares him from accusations of being a "squealer," but his reticence tends to be unhelpful to himself or others.

Fat Tony: Did you have a nice flight Johnny Tightlips?
Johnny: I ain't sayin' nothin'
Fat Tony: I understand. How is your mother?
Johnny: Oh, hey, who says I have a mother?
Fat Tony: Johnny Tightlips, do you see the shooter?
Johnny: I see a lot of things.
Fat Tony: You know, you could be a little more helpful.
Louie: Johnny Tightlips, where'd they hit ya?
Johnny: I ain't sayin nothin.
Louie: But, what do I tell the doctor?
Johnny: Tell him to suck a lemon.

Kent Brockman

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Kent Brockman

Kent Brockman (voiced by Harry Shearer) is a local TV news "personality" for KBBL-TV (Channel 6). He hosts the KBBL weeknight news (Scott Christian is the weekend news anchor and Kent's fill-in) as well as Smartline, a local current affairs show and Eye on Springfield which focuses mostly on Springfield's entertainment news. His character bears a striking resemblance to Los Angeles news anchor Jerry Dunphy.


Brockman has a preteen daughter, and has jealously mentioned his sister, who is also a TV reporter with a national network.


On one notable episode, Brockman won the multi-million-dollar state lottery jackpot. He has remained a news anchor because he is under contract, though he admits he would not quit his rather well-paying job regardless.


In a flashback to the 1960s, we see that when he started out in television his name was Kenny Brocklestein.


It is said that Brockman was based on Dunphy and fellow L.A. News legend Hal Fishman.


Quotes


  • [live on air] "I've said it before and I'll say it again; democracy just doesn't work."
  • [reading from his script before a show]: Thousands were killed in a tidal wave today in (squints)... Kual.... Kaula Lum... [crosses it out] ...France!"
  • "I know I'm on. I don't care. I don't read the news until I've had my Danish."
  • "And I for one welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."
  • "This just in. A fistfight is in progress in downtown Springfield. Early reports indicate, and this is very preliminary, that one of the fighters is a giant lizard. [to off-camera aide] Do we have a source on this? ... Uh-huh. A bunch of drunken frat boys. I could use some names... I.P. Freeley... <grimaces>"
  • "The government just issued an Orange Alert, which again means... nothing."
  • [Special Report on the Krisis at Kamp Krusty] "I've been to Vietnam, Afghanstan and Iraq, and without hyberbole, this is a million times worse than all of them put together."

Lindsey Naegle

Lindsey Naegle is a Springfield resident and woman who holds many jobs. Her first appearance was in episode AABF18 "They Saved Lisa's Brain" as a member of the Springfield MENSA Society. She has a professional appearance. Among her jobs, these included a supporter of Springfield's brief anti-family laws, a cell phone employee, and an executive; she might also possibly be an executive for the network Krusty the Klown's show runs on.


Lionel Hutz

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Lionel Hutz

Lionel Hutz, who was voiced by Phil Hartman, was an inept ambulance chaser that the Simpsons keep hiring as their lawyer (a fact remarked on by Marge in a typically self-aware aside).


In one episode he also turns his hand to selling real estate.


At one point Hutz renamed himself Miguel Sanchez following some trouble which prompted him to change his identity. At the time of this change of identity he was babysitting the Simpson children: Bart, Lisa and Maggie. (At some point, he apparently went by the name Nguyen Van Thoc, or possibly Ngyugen Van Falk.)


The character ceased appearing in new episodes after Hartman was murdered by his wife 1998.


Some examples of Hutzisms:


Wow - these books behind me don't just look good - they're filled with useful legal tidbits!


I've faced all judges in this state - often as a lawyer.


Don't worry, Homer. I have a foolproof strategy to get you out of here. Surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. The judge won't know what hit him.


Hutz: Your honor, I call for a, uh, bad court thingy. Judge: You mean a mistrial? Hutz: Right. That's why you're the judge and I'm the, uh, law talking guy.


Judge: Mr. Hutz we've been in here for four hours. Do you have any evidence at all? Hutz: Well, Your Honor. We've plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are kinds of evidence.


Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert.... I rest my case. Judge: You rest your case?! Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed.


Hutz: (unusually confident) ... and that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is my case. Judge: Mr. Hutz, are you aware you're not wearing any pants?


Hutz: uh-oh! We've drawn Judge Schnider! Marge: Is that bad? Hutz: Well, he's kinda had it in for me since I kind of ran over his dog. Marge: You did? Hutz: Well, replace the word kind of with repeatedly, and the word dog with son.


Marge: So, do you think I have a case? Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, you're in luck. Your sexual harrassment suit is just the thing I need to rebuild my shattered practice. Care to join me in a belt of Scotch? Marge: It's 9:30 in the morning. Hutz: Yeah, but I haven't slept in days.


Luigi Re Soto

This character, voiced by Hank Azaria is the proprietor of the local Italian restaurant. He is basically a parody of the "Italian pasta/pizza chef" stereotype. It is possible he is an illegal immigrant.


His name is possibly a play on the Italian food risotto.


Professor John Frink

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Professor Frink

Brilliant scientist and local Springfield professor.


Professor Frink is Springfield's local mad scientist (voiced by Hank Azaria). His character is a mild parody of Jerry Lewis' character, The Nutty Professor. He has a trademark mannerism of using nonsense words when excited (and he's always excited). For example, when a meteor is approaching Springfield in a Paul Bunyan portray, he exclaims "That meteor is headed straight for us! With the fire, and the impact, and the hundred percent chance of PAIN! PAIN IN THE GLAYVIN!"


His laboratory phone number is 555-5782.


In a flashback we see him lecturing at the Springfield Heights Institute of Technology, demonstrating the Frinkiac supercomputer and predicting that "within 100 years, computers will be twice as powerful, ten thousand times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings of Europe will own them. M-huy."


He is fond of flubber (a fictional material with enhanced bounce properties originating in the movie The Absent Minded Professor ). Professor Frink has basketball shoes made of flubber.


"Professor Frink, Professor Frink/He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think!"


He is also the inventor of Hamburger Earmuffs. Using his famous method of combining two already existing inventions, he soon had a hot, marketable product on his hands. However, Homer Simpson attempted to steal this brilliant idea after failing to come up with an invention of his own. Frink was confident though, reassuring himself that "these babies'll already be on the shelves while he's still grappling with the pickle matrix!" He promptly added "hoy-ven-glay-ven!"


Frink never had a good relation with his father, played by Jerry Lewis. His mother said they were like "positrons and anti-neutrinos". The senior Professor Frink was a "he-man" scientist who, according to his son, worked on the atom bomb by day, slept with Marilyn Monroe by night, and sold secrets to the Russians at lunch. In the 14th Halloween Episod


  Results from FactBites:
 
Plainfield Connecticut Church History (1574 words)
In 1871 Reverend G. Raymond, of Brown University, was ordained to the pastorate.
Reverend L. Frink was pastor from the fall of 1877 to the spring of 1879.
December 19th, 1859, Reverend S. Fellows was engaged as acting pastor, and still remains, thus filling a term of nearly thirty years, and how much longer it may be must be left for the future historian to write.
  More results at FactBites »

 
 

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