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Encyclopedia > Don't Go Near the Water (book)
Title Don't Go Near the Water
Author William Brinkley
Country United States
Language English
Subject(s) Humor
Genre(s) Fiction
Publisher Random House
Released 1956
Media type Hardcover
Pages 373pp
ISBN ISBN 9997405067

Don't Go Near the Water was a 1956 book by William Brinkley, which was adapted the next year into a movie. It was a lighthearted war novel, dealing with public relations officers in the United States Navy during World War II, assigned to the fictional Pacific island of Tulura. It was the bestselling U.S. work of fiction of 1956.[1] In political geography and international politics a country is a geographical entity, a territory, most commonly associated with the notions of state or nation. ... The English language is a West Germanic language that originates in England. ... Look up Humour in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ... Fiction (from the Latin fingere, to form, create) is storytelling of imagined events and stands in contrast to non-fiction, which makes factual claims that can be substantiated with evidence. ... A publisher is a person or entity which engages in the act of publishing. ... Random House is a publishing division of the German media conglomerate Bertelsmann based in New York City. ... 1956 (MCMLVI) was a leap year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... This article or section does not adequately cite its references or sources. ... The barcode of an ISBN . ... 1956 (MCMLVI) was a leap year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... A war novel is a novel in which the primary action takes place in a field of armed combat, or in a domestic setting (or home front) where the characters are preoccupied with the preparations for, or recovery from, war. ... Public relations (PR) is the business, organizational, philanthropic, or social function of managing communication between an organization and its audiences. ... The United States Navy, also known as the USN or the U.S. Navy, is a branch of the United States armed forces responsible for conducting naval operations. ... Combatants Allied powers: China France Great Britain Soviet Union United States and others Axis powers: Germany Italy Japan and others Commanders Chiang Kai-shek Charles de Gaulle Winston Churchill Joseph Stalin Franklin Roosevelt Adolf Hitler Benito Mussolini Hideki Tōjō Casualties Military dead: 17,000,000 Civilian dead: 33,000...

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Plot Summary

The book is episodic broken into ten distinct chapters dealing with the officers stationed on the island, with six numbered interludes, titled "Melora" with a sequential number after them, after Melora Alba, the love interest of the book, whom Ensign Max Siegel, the main character, falls for. Ensign of the Imperial Japanese Navy. ...

1. Don't Give Up the Ship. The reader is introduced to the Public Relations commander, Lieutenant Commander Clinton T. Nash, a former broker who tries to act nautical. Ensign Siegel assists Lieutenant (jg) Ross Pendleton in getting the natives on an adjacent island to dress like stereotypical natives in preparation for the visit of Tarzan author Edgar Rice Burroughs. In the Royal Navy, United States Navy and United States Coast Guard, a lieutenant commander (lieutenant-commander or Lt Cdr in the RN) is a commissioned officer superior to a lieutenant and inferior to a commander. ... James H. Pierce and Joan Burroughs Pierce starred in the 1932-34 Tarzan radio series 1964 Edition of Tarzan of the Apes Tarzan, a fictional character created by Edgar Rice Burroughs, first appeared in the 1912 novel Tarzan of the Apes, and then in twenty-three sequels. ... Edgar Rice Burroughs Edgar Rice Burroughs (September 1, 1875 – March 19, 1950) was an American author, best known for his creation of the jungle hero Tarzan, although he also produced works in many genres. ...

Melora 1. The Passionate Sailors of Mendoza. While escorting two Congressmen on a tour of the island, Siegel encounters a beautiful native girl speaking to Mr. Seguro, a native man. The Congressmen are anxious to have her for dinner, while Siegel tries to protect her by warning of the risk of social diseases. All three are horrified when the girl (Melora) turns out to be sophisticated and speaks perfect English.

2. The Education of Admiral Boatwright. Rear Admiral D.D. Boatwright, the Navy logistics chief, is stationed on the island. Despite his great merit, he is without human interest--until he buys a dog from a local boy, then when the dog runs away to his old master, allows him to remain. This turns him into a media star. The term Rear Admiral originated from the days of Naval Sailing Squadrons, and can trace its origins to the British Royal Navy. ...

Melora 2. Never Mind the Frangipani. Siegel interrogates Mr. Seguro as to the identity of the girl. Mr. Seguro is evasive, but finally discloses that the girl is not only the daughter of a wealthy family, the Albas, but is the village schoolteacher. Siegel immediately heads towards the schoolhouse.

3. Thinking Big. Nash, in a bid to glamorize the enlisted man, sets up a Home Town News department to send masses of filler copy about them to stateside newspapers. Siegel and his roommate, Lieutenant Morey Griffin (the laziest man on Tulura, which is saying something) poke through ships rosters and encounter the name of Farragut Jones. Amused by the name, they send unauthorized stories to the hometown newspaper. The editor sends a letter to the Navy Department, suggesting that Jones be returned to the States as a hero. When the Navy forwards this to Tulura, Nash is outraged and when the two confess, are confined to their room (with room service) pending court martial. However, Admiral Boatwright loves the editor's idea, and the two are freed (Nash has actually forgotten that he confined them) and Jones ordered to Tulura before the hero's tour of the States. Lieutenant is a military, naval, paramilitary, fire service or police officer rank. ... A court-martial (plural courts-martial) is a military court that determines punishments for members of the military subject to military law. ...

Melora 3. HYDROZ to JEREM. Siegel has established a formal relationship with Melora, helping out in the temporary island one-room schoolhouse after school, and researching questions the school's very limited library is unable to answer. He breaks down the formality by purchasing an Encyclopedia Britannica for the school--the one gift that the formally brought-up teacher would accept. 1913 advertisement for the 11th edition, with the slogan When in doubt — look it up in the Encyclopædia Britannica The Encyclopædia Britannica (properly spelled with æ, the ae-ligature) was first published in 1768–1771 as The Britannica was an important early English-language general encyclopedia and is still...

4. Ultimate Fraternization Siegel aids a sexual relationship between his assistant, Yeoman Adam Garrett (who wants to be transferred to a destroyer), and Navy nurse Ensign Alice Thomas, in violation of Navy Regulations regarding sexual relationships between officers and enlisted personnel. Nash finds out and breaks it up, taking no disciplinary action for fear of adverse publicity. To meet Wikipedias quality standards, this article or section may require cleanup. ...

5. The Thousand-dollar Bill Chicago Gazette correspondent Gordon Ripwell enjoys throwing his weight around with the fearful Nash and the other officers. Rewarded by his puritanical publisher with a thousand dollar bill for flying on a plane bombing Japan, Siegel, Melora, and another ensign combine to blackmail the reporter out of the money to rebuild the island's schoolhouse, destroyed in the war. Ripwell is hailed as a hero, and his publisher sends him another inscribed bill.

6. The Typical Young Navy Man Farragut Jones hits Tulura en route to the States, where a tour from New York to Washington to Hollywood has been set up for him. He proves to be utterly uncouth. Siegel is set the task of civilizing the man. In ten days, he does a reasonable job, and Jones leaves on a successful tour of the States.

Melora 4. I Went to Harvard College, Sir Melora brings Siegel home to meet her father. Without ever deviating from a pleasant and polite tone, Mr. Alba thoroughly dissects Siegel, and finds him wanting.

7. The Budweiser Mutiny A lavish new officer's club is planned. The enlisted men, led (secretly) by Garrett, protest by cancelling their war bond allotments. Nash is afraid of publicity, and responds with a disastrous attempt by the officers to build the club themselves. Siegel defuses the situation. Nash learns of Garrett's involvement, but still fears publicity, and so "punishes" the yeoman by transferring him to the most severe duty he knows: a destoyer, Garrett's heart's desire. An American War Bonds poster from 1942 War bonds are a type of savings bond used by combatant nations to help fund a war effort. ...

Melora 5. Queen's Pawn Opening Melora again brings Siegel home. Mr. Alba is pleasant, having already formed a negative judgment of Siegel. Mr. Alba changes his opinion when he not only finds that Siegel has an appreciation of Mr. Alba's collection of chess sets, but plays the game himself. The two are the only decent chess players on the island.

8. The Lacy Battle Flag Debbi Alditch, correspondent for the women's magazine Madame, hits Tulura. A bit of a tease, she insists on going on a ship into combat, which flies her panties during the battle. She slips away from her handler, Ensign Christopher Tyson, and goes onto the island where the battle still rages, and stays at the front for four days. She returns, and is sent back to the States.

Melora 6. New York is a Very Great Excitement Siegel and Melora's relationship has become close, especially as her father has grown to like him. Things are dampened by Melora's statement that as much as she loves other places, she could never live anyplace but Tulura.

9. The Day the Bomb Fell News of the bombing of Hiroshima reaches the island. Only Lieutenant Woodrow W. Shoemaker can see anything more than personal concerns in the aftermath of the bombing and the impending end of the war. Citizens of Hiroshima walk by the A-Bomb Dome, the closest building to have survived the citys atomic bombing. ...

10. All Good Things Must Come to an End A wild party in the new officer's club celebrates the end of the war and the impending return of most to civilian life. Siegel's marriage to Melora (he will remain on the island and work in her father's concerns) is announced.

Movie adaptation

In 1957, the book became a movie starring Glenn Ford, Gia Scala, Earl Holliman, Anne Francis, Keenan Wynn, Russ Tamblyn and Eva Gabor; and was directed by Charles Walters.[2] 1957 (MCMLVII) was a common year starting on Tuesday of the Gregorian calendar. ... Glenn Ford in 1979 Gwyllyn Samuel Newton Glenn Ford (May 1, 1916 – August 30, 2006) was an acclaimed Canadian-American actor from Hollywoods Golden Era with a career that spanned seven decades. ... Gia Scala Gia Scala (March 3, 1934 – April 30, 1972) was an actress. ... Earl Holliman Earl Holliman (born Anthony Earl Numkena on September 11, 1928 in Delhi, Louisiana) is an American film and television actor. ... Anne Francis Anne Francis (born September 16, 1930, in Ossining, New York) is an American actress, famous for her role in the film science fiction classic, Forbidden Planet (1956), and as the TV-series private detective Honey West (1965-1966). ... Wynn in Warning Shot (1967) Keenan Wynn (July 27, 1916 – October 14, 1986) was an American character actor and member of a well-known show-business family. ... Russ Tamblyn (born Russell Irving Tamblyn on December 30, 1934) is an American actor and former dancer. ... Eva Gabor (in Hungarian Gábor Éva) (February 11, 1919 – July 4, 1995) was a Hungarian actress. ... Charles Walters (November 11, 1911-August 13, 1982), Hollywood director and choreographer most noted for his work in MGM musicals and comedies in from the 1940s to the 1960s. ...



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