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Encyclopedia > Bill Simmons
Bill Simmons
Bill Simmons

Bill Simmons (b. 1969) is a columnist for Page2 on ESPN.com and ESPN The Magazine. He is also known by the nicknames of "The Boston Sports Guy" or the "Sports Guy". His ESPN.com column is written from the viewpoint of a passionate Boston fan, and often uses extended analogies and references to pop culture in his columns. Image File history File linksMetadata Size of this preview: 255 × 599 pixelsFull resolution (1080 × 2536 pixel, file size: 1. ... Image File history File linksMetadata Size of this preview: 255 × 599 pixelsFull resolution (1080 × 2536 pixel, file size: 1. ... Among other things, Page2 is a feature of www. ... ESPN.com is the official website of ESPN and a division of ESPN Inc. ... This article or section does not cite its references or sources. ... Popular culture, or pop culture, is the vernacular (peoples) culture that prevails in a modern society. ...


He moved to Los Angeles at the end of 2002 to work as a writer for the Jimmy Kimmel Show. He has since left the show to work full-time for ESPN. He has signed a contract to remain with ESPN until 2010. Los Angeles and L.A. redirect here. ... Jimmy Kimmel Live! is an Emmy-nominated American late-night talk show, created and hosted by Jimmy Kimmel. ...


Simmons currently hosts his own podcast on ESPN.com and iTunes titled "The B.S. Report". When he began his podcast on May 8, 2007, until June 14, it was called "Eye of the Sports Guy". He has also filmed segments for the television series E:60. A podcast is a series of digital-media files which are distributed over the Internet using syndication feeds for playback on portable media players and computers. ... is the 128th day of the year (129th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ...


He set the record for the longest chat on ESPN's Sportsnation on November 28, 2007, breaking Rob Neyer's previous record. He did the chat to support ESPN's fund raising efforts for the Jimmy V Foundation for cancer. Neyer has since re-broken the record on March 31, 2008 on the opening day of the baseball season. The record now stands at 10 hours and 56 minutes. Rob Neyer is a baseball author and, since 1996, a columnist for ESPN.com. ...


He also "officially" announced his candidacy for the position of Milwaukee Bucks general manager. This article does not cite any references or sources. ... The term general manager is a descriptive term for certain executives in a business operation. ...

Contents

Personal life

Simmons grew up in Massachusetts and Connecticut. He attended The Greenwich Country Day School for the eighth and ninth grades. He attended Brunswick School in Greenwich, Connecticut and, in 1988, completed a postgraduate year at Choate Rosemary Hall, a prep school located in Wallingford, Connecticut. Simmons attended the College of the Holy Cross, graduating in 1992 with a degree in Political Science. Subsequently, he studied print journalism at Boston University, where he received his master's degree.[1] Before his affiliation with ESPN, he was known as the "Boston Sports Guy" on the web site Digital City Boston. Simmons also worked for the Boston Herald briefly in the 1990s, and he was a bartender for a short time while he established himself on the web. He was originally referred to as "The Sports Guy" by childhood friend Steve Jung. Brunswick Schools Logo and Motto Brunswick School is a prestigious, all boys college-preparatory day-school located in Greenwich, Connecticut. ... Location in Connecticut Coordinates: , NECTA Region Settled 1640 Joined Connecticut 1656 Government  - Type Representative town meeting  - First selectman Peter Tesei  - Town administrator Edward Gomeau  - Town meeting moderator Thomas J. Byrne Area  - Total 174. ... Choate Rosemary Hall Choate Rosemary Hall (commonly referred to as Choate) is a New England preparatory school for students in grades 9-12, known as the third through sixth forms at the school. ... A university-preparatory school or college-preparatory school (usually abbreviated to preparatory school, college prep school, or prep school) is a private secondary school designed to prepare a student for higher education. ... Wallingford is a town in New Haven County, Connecticut, United States. ... Not to be confused with Holy Cross College (Indiana) or other similarly named Holy Cross Colleges. ... For the similarly named institution in Chestnut Hill, see Boston College. ... Boston redirects here. ... The Boston Herald is a tabloid format newspaper, though not a tabloid in the traditional sense, and is the smaller of the two big dailies in Boston, Massachusetts (the other being The Boston Globe). ...


In the fall of 2002, he moved to California to work as a comedy writer for Jimmy Kimmel's show, Jimmy Kimmel Live. Although he left the show in 2004, he remained in California. Simmons also frequently writes about his non-sports-related personal life in his columns. He often mentions his wife, Kari, but only as "The Sports Gal", and his baby daughter Zoe, born in the spring of 2005. On November 2, 2007, Bill reported on his website that his second child "Manny Beckett Brady Pierce Garnett Ellsbury Simmons" was born this week and is "healthy and happy", and a week later, on November 9, 2007, Bill says in his Week 10 Picks that his new child was born 21 inches long. This article is about the U.S. state. ... Jimmy Kimmel Live is a late-night talk show in the United States created and hosted by Jimmy Kimmel, broadcast from the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood, California. ...


Simmons has his own section of ESPN.com's Page 2, titled "Sports Guy's World", and in late 2004 ESPN launched an online cartoon based on his columns (the cartoon has since been discontinued). His wife, Kari, occasionally writes mini-articles within Simmons' own Page 2 articles. He has appeared on I Love the 90s: Part Deux, Colbert Report and Jim Rome Is Burning, and is an occasional guest on several sports talk radio shows. ESPN.com is the official website of ESPN and a division of ESPN Inc. ... I Love the 90s: Part Deux is a miniseries on VH1 in which various music and TV personalities reminisce about 1990s culture. ... Stephen Colbert, star of The Colbert Report The Colbert Report (, or possibly Colbert Réport) is a television program announced by Comedy Central that will star Stephen Colbert, currently best-known as a correspondent for The Daily Show. ... Jim Rome Is Burning (originally titled Rome Is Burning and often abbreviated as JRIB) is a sports conversation and opinion show hosted by Jim Rome. ...


On October 1, 2005, Simmons released his first book, Now I Can Die In Peace. The book is a collection of his columns, with minor changes and lengthy footnotes, leading up to the 2004 World Series victory by the Boston Red Sox. is the 274th day of the year (275th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Dates October 23, 2004–October 27, 2004 MVP Manny Ramírez (Boston) Television network Fox Announcers Joe Buck and Tim McCarver Umpires Ed Montague (Crew Chief), Dale Scott, Brian Gorman, Chuck Meriwether, Gerry Davis, Charlie Reliford The 2004 World Series represented the 100th time two modern Major League Baseball teams...


In the March 13, 2006, edition of ESPN The Magazine, Simmons revealed that he would be competing in the 2006 World Series of Poker Main Event. Simmons busted out of the tournament during his first day of play. is the 72nd day of the year (73rd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2006 (MMVI) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... The 2006 World Series of Poker (WSOP) began on June 25, 2006 with satellite events, with regular play commencing on June 26 with the annual Casino Employee event, and the Tournament of Champions held on June 28 and 29. ...


On April 19, 2006, Simmons won the NBA Cares Celebrity Fantasy League beating out Bernie Mac in the final by a score of 1028-852. Other celebrities that participated were Pamela Anderson, Cedric the Entertainer, Samuel L. Jackson, Matthew Modine, Michael Rapaport, Star Jones Reynolds, Kenny Smith and Diana Taurasi. Simmons attributed his success to his extensive knowledge of the NBA and to star player Kobe Bryant, as well as the Isiah-esque ineptitude of TNT analyst Kenny Smith. is the 109th day of the year (110th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2006 (MMVI) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... Bernie Mac (born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough on October 5, 1957 (sometimes incorrectly given as 1958) in Chicago, Illinois) is a two time Emmy Award-nominated American actor and comedian. ... Pamela Denise Anderson (born July 1, 1967) is a Canadian/American[1] actress, sex symbol, glamour model, producer, TV personality, and author. ... Cedric the Entertainer (born Cedric Antonio Kyles on April 24, 1964) is an American actor and comedian. ... Samuel Jackson redirects here. ... Matthew Avery Modine (born March 22, 1959) is an American actor, perhaps most famous for playing Private Joker in Stanley Kubricks 1987 film, Full Metal Jacket. ... Michael David Rapaport (born March 20, 1970) is an American actor and a comedian. ... Starlet Marie Star Jones Reynolds (born March 24, 1962) is an American lawyer and television personality, best known for her stint as a co-host of the ABC weekday morning talk show The View. ... To see the football player see Kenny Smith (American football) Kenny The Jet Smith (born March 8, 1965, in Queens, New York) is a retired American professional basketball player and current TV announcer. ... Diana Lurena Taurasi (born June 11, 1982 in Chino, California) is a professional basketball player who plays for the Phoenix Mercury in the Womens National Basketball Association (WNBA). ... NBA redirects here. ... Kobe Bryant (born August 23, 1978) is an American All-Star shooting guard in the National Basketball Association who plays for the Los Angeles Lakers. ... The NBA on TNT, known since October 2002 as TNT NBA Thursday, is a TV show which broadcasts National Basketball Association games on TNT. TNT began airing NBA games in 1988, and aired games on multiple nights of the week (usually twice a week with sister network TBS airing another... To see the football player see Kenny Smith (American football) Kenny The Jet Smith (born March 8, 1965, in Queens, New York) is a retired American professional basketball player and current TV announcer. ...


On July 16, 2007, during the NESN broadcast of the Red Sox/Kansas City Royals game, Jerry Remy read off a letter as to why Bill Simmons should become the president of Red Sox Nation. Remy then went on to reject Simmons's request to become president on account of a remark making light of Remy's alleged chain smoking habit (although Remy only claimed the letter attacked his "health" on the air) and tore up his letter. is the 197th day of the year (198th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ... The New England Sports Network is a regional cable television network that covers the six New England states. ... Major league affiliations American League (1969–present) Central Division (1994–present) Current uniform Retired Numbers 5, 10, 20, 42 Name Kansas City Royals (1969–present) Other nicknames The Boys in Blue Ballpark Kauffman Stadium (1973–present) a. ... Remy redirects here. ... Red Sox Nation refers to the fans of the Boston Red Sox. ...


Rooting interests

A native New Englander, Simmons is a passionate fan of the Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots, Holy Cross Crusaders (his alma mater), and Boston Celtics. He was a longtime fan of the Boston Bruins and the NHL, but claims that their poor management led to his completely losing interest in them---until the 2008 playoffs.[2] Simmons's interest in soccer was piqued by the 2006 FIFA World Cup. He subsequently wrote a column detailing his efforts to choose an English Premier League team to follow, eventually selecting Tottenham Hotspur.[3] Since his column discussing the selection process, he hasn't written any stories on the team or the EPL season. He also passionately roots against certain teams, specifically the New York Yankees, New York Knicks, New York Jets, Boston College Eagles, Indianapolis Colts, Montreal Canadiens, and Los Angeles Lakers. This article is about the region in the United States of America. ... Major league affiliations American League (1901–present) East Division (1969–present) Current uniform Retired Numbers 1, 4, 8, 9, 27, 42 Name Boston Red Sox (1908–present) Boston Americans (1901-1907) Other nicknames The BoSox, The Olde Towne Team, The Sox Ballpark Fenway Park (1912–present) Huntington Avenue Baseball Grounds... City Foxborough, Massachusetts Other nicknames The Pats Team colors Nautical Blue, New Century Silver, Red, and White Head Coach Bill Belichick Owner Robert Kraft General manager Bill Belichick (de facto) Mascot Pat Patriot League/Conference affiliations American Football League (1960–69) Eastern Division (1960–69) National Football League (1970–present... Not to be confused with Holy Cross College (Indiana) or other similarly named Holy Cross Colleges. ... The Boston Celtics are a professional basketball team based in Boston, Massachusetts. ... The Boston Bruins are a professional mens ice hockey team based in Boston, Massachusetts. ... NHL can also be an abbreviation for National Historic Landmark or Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. ... The FIFA World Cup, sometimes called the Football World Cup or the Soccer World Cup, but usually referred to simply as the World Cup, is an international association football competition contested by the mens national teams of the members of Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA), the... The FA Premier League (often referred to as the Barclays English Premier League for sponsorship reasons) comprises the top 20 football clubs in the league system of English football. ... Tottenham Hotspur F.C. is a North London association football team, also known by the nickname Spurs. ... Major league affiliations American League (1901–present) East Division (1969–present) Current uniform Retired Numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 23, 32, 37, 44, 49 Name New York Yankees (1913–present) New York Highlanders (1903-1912) Baltimore Orioles (1901-1902) (Also referred to as... Knicks redirects here. ... City East Rutherford, New Jersey Other nicknames Gang Green, the Green and White, Jersey Jets Team colors Hunter green and white Head Coach Eric Mangini Owner Woody Johnson General manager Mike Tannenbaum League/Conference affiliations American Football League (1960-1969) Eastern Division (1960-1969) National Football League (1970–present) American... This article or section does not adequately cite its references or sources. ... League/Conference affiliations National Football League (1953–present) Western Conference (1953-1969) Coastal Division (1967-1969) American Football Conference (1970-present) AFC East (1970-2001) AFC South (2002-present) Current uniform Team colors Royal Blue, White Mascot Blue Personnel Owner Jim Irsay General Manager Bill Polian Head Coach Tony Dungy... The Montreal Canadiens (French: ) are a professional ice hockey team based in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. ... The Los Angeles Lakers are a National Basketball Association (NBA) team based in Los Angeles, California. ...


Style

Simmons's writing is characterized by references to movies, television shows such as The Wire, The Sopranos, Beverly Hills 90210, The O.C. and Entourage, bias towards Boston-area sports teams, his disdain for the WNBA, male insecurities, and anxiety about the emasculating effects of wives and girlfriends. His writing frequency has gone from a consistent three columns per week to a sporadic posting of columns, sometimes substituting his ESPN the magazine column, which is shorter. He will also substitute an audio podcast in place of a column. For other uses see film (disambiguation) Film refers to the celluliod media on which movies are printed Film — also called movies, the cinema, the silver screen, moving pictures, photoplays, picture shows, flicks, or motion pictures, — is a field that encompasses motion pictures as an art form or as part of... A television program is the content of television broadcasting. ... For others uses of the term, see The Wire (disambiguation). ... This article is about the television series. ... Beverly Hills 90210 was a popular primetime television soap opera that aired from October 1990 to May 2000 on the Fox Network in the United States and subsequently on various networks around the world. ... The O.C. was an American teen drama television series that originally aired on FOX in the United States , and in Canada On CTV Television Network from August 5, 2003, to February 22, 2007, running a total of four seasons. ... Entourage is an Emmy Award-winning HBO original series created by Doug Ellin that chronicles the rise of Vincent Chase — a young A-list movie star — and his childhood friends from Queens, New York City as they navigate the unfamiliar terrain of Hollywood, California. ... The Womens National Basketball Association (WNBA) is an organization governing a professional basketball league for women in the United States. ...


Simmons frequently mentions friends and family in his column, and trips to Las Vegas or other gambling venues with his friends. He frequently writes about his gambling, whether it's at the blackjack table or his many parlays during football season. On Fridays during the NFL season, he makes picks for every game. NFL redirects here. ...


Simmons will also discuss movies (most notably, Hoosiers, The Godfather, Teen Wolf, The Shawshank Redemption, Boogie Nights, the Rocky series, and The Karate Kid), favorite TV shows of the past and present (for example, Friday Night Lights), his many fantasy sports teams, memories regarding professional wrestling (mainly with the WWF/E), video games and even throwing in a few references to adult video. One of his ongoing projects is "The Best 72 Sports Movies of the last 33 Years", which he updates in no particular order. He has named eight of 72 movies and has not written a column for this project since November 27, 2005.[4] This page is about the movie Hoosiers. Hoosiers is also the nickname of Indiana University athletic teams; see Indiana Hoosiers. ... This article is about the 1972 film. ... This article is about the film. ... For the novella, see Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption. ... This article is about the 1997 film. ... For other uses, see Rocky (disambiguation). ... The Karate Kid is a 1984 John G. Avildsen film starring Pat Morita, Ralph Macchio and Elisabeth Shue. ... Friday Night Lights is an award-winning American television serial drama adapted by Peter Berg, Brian Grazer and David Nevins from a book of the same name. ... For the NES video game, see Pro Wrestling (video game). ... World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. ...


He also occasionally writes columns answering readers' e-mails. He almost always ends these columns with a strange email, followed by the statement "Yup, these are my readers." He also engages in lengthy chat sessions with readers on ESPN.com, and once was the reigning record-holder for the longest one-man chat session in ESPN history clocking in at 7 hours and 4 minutes. Rob Neyer has since reclaimed the record.


One of his recurring columns is his annual Draft Diary, where he discusses watching the NBA Draft, usually with his father, and mocks various aspects of it. He has admitted that the 2007 Draft Diary was his worst and would like a mulligan. The NBA Draft is an annual North American event in which the National Basketball Associations (NBA) thirty teams (29 in the United States and one in Canada) can select players who wish to join the league. ... For people named Mulligan, see Mulligan (surname). ...


Simmons has attended several Super Bowls since being hired by ESPN and has admitted to disliking Jacksonville and Houston, citing them as inadequate locales for the event. The winning Super Bowl team receives the Vince Lombardi Trophy. ... Jacksonville redirects here. ... Houston redirects here. ...


Controversy

Simmons is an avid NBA fan and is quick to express his opinions over who's doing a good job and who's not. He has heavily criticized Celtics General Manager Danny Ainge and head coach Doc Rivers, Los Angeles Clippers general manager Elgin Baylor (who once called Simmons an "asshole"), and especially former New York Knicks coach and general manager Isiah Thomas. This led to Thomas threatening Simmons on Stephen A. Smith's radio show in early 2006, saying, "If I see this guy Bill Simmons, oh, it's gonna be a problem with me and him." In a column posted on ESPN.com on July 19, 2007 Simmons stated that he and Thomas had a half-hour long chat, facilitated by sports announcer Gus Johnson, about Simmons' criticisms of Thomas, and that Thomas remained civil and cordial throughout.[5]. With regard to Rivers, Simmons wrote a particularly scathing article mocking the coach's use of the ubuntu concept in his locker room. [2] Ubuntu is an African tradition which emphasizes unity and togetherness. It extends back to early Bantu times and was an integral part of the South African anti-apartheid movement. NBA redirects here. ... Daniel Ray Ainge (born March 17, 1959 in Eugene, Oregon, USA) is a former professional basketball and baseball player who played in the NBA for the Boston Celtics, Sacramento Kings, Portland Trail Blazers, and Phoenix Suns, and also in Major League Baseball for the Toronto Blue Jays. ... Glenn Anton Doc Rivers (born October 13, 1961 in Chicago, Illinois) is an American former professional basketball player from Marquette University who played point guard in the National Basketball Association notably for the Atlanta Hawks, Los Angeles Clippers, New York Knicks, and San Antonio Spurs. ... Clippers redirects here. ... Elgin Gay Baylor (born September 16, 1934 in Washington, D.C.) is an American former basketball forward. ... Knicks redirects here. ... Isiah Lord Thomas III () (born April 30, 1961, in Chicago, Illinois) is a retired American professional basketball player in the National Basketball Association (NBA), and is currently the head coach of the NBAs New York Knicks. ... Stephen Anthony Smith (born October 14, 1967), usually referred to as Stephen A., is a sportswriter and media personality from Hollis, Queens in New York City. ... is the 200th day of the year (201st in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ... Gus Johnson (born August 10, 1967 in Detroit, Michigan) is an American sports announcer. ... Look up ubuntu in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ... Map showing the approximate distribution of Bantu (light brown) vs. ...


Simmons and Red Sox announcer Jerry Remy feuded over the presidency of Red Sox Nation. The Red Sox asked Simmons to run for the ceremonial position and he accepted. In a candidate's memo, Simmons remarked that he was a better choice than Remy because he is not a smoker. Remy criticized Simmons for about five minutes during the July 16, 2007 broadcast of the Red Sox - Royals game. Remy redirects here. ... is the 197th day of the year (198th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ...


On January 16, 2008, Bill Simmons wrote a column comparing the 1985-1986 Celtics to the 2007 New England Patriots to determine the greatest Boston-area sports team of his lifetime. He did this despite the fact that the Patriots still needed to win two games to win the championship. The Patriots ended up losing Super Bowl XLII against the New York Giants by a score of 17-14.


Currently, Bill Simmons appears to be embroiled in a feud with management at ESPN.com. When asked by the editors of Deadspin.com why he had not written a new column in over 2 weeks, he replied "I still love writing my column and only re-signed last year because I really did believe that we had hashed out all the behind the scenes bullshit and come to some sort of agreement on creative lines, media criticism rules, the promotion of the column and everything else on ESPN.com. Within a few months, all of those things changed and certain promises were not kept. It's as simple as that." [6]


Memes

Simmons responds to issues in the sports world in a unique way, usually putting a different spin on events, ideas, and theories. He uses such terms so frequently that ESPN.com has a glossary of Simmons conventions, with links to articles in which they were used.[7]


Ewing Theory

One of Simmons's most used Internet memes has been the Ewing Theory,[8] the brainchild of reader Dave Cirilli and named after Patrick Ewing of the New York Knicks. Ewing's Knicks seemed to play better when he was hurt or in foul trouble. In 1998-99, the Knicks made the NBA Finals after Ewing sustained an Achilles' tendon injury. The Ewing Theory claims that when a longtime superstar who has never won a championship leaves the team via injury, trade or free agency, and the media writes the team off, the team will play better. It should be noted that Ewing's Georgetown Hoyas won an NCAA Championship in 1984, largely due to Ewing's contributions. Other examples noted by Simmons include: This article or section does not cite its references or sources. ... Patrick Aloysius Ewing (born August 5, 1962) is a retired American professional basketball player. ... Knicks redirects here. ... Logo of the NBA Finals. ... Posterior view of the foot and leg, showing the Achilles tendon (tendo calcaneus). ...

Given the time since the name Ewing Theory was coined and the Giants Super Bowl XLII victory, a number of readers have suggested the name be updated to the Tiki Theory.[citation needed] The Connecticut Huskies, also known as the UConn Huskies, are the athletic teams of the University of Connecticut. ... Donyell Lamar Marshall (born May 18, 1973 in Reading, Pennsylvania USA), attended Reading High, is an American professional basketball player currently with the NBAs Cleveland Cavaliers. ... Major league affiliations American League (1901–present) East Division (1969–present) Current uniform Retired Numbers 1, 4, 8, 9, 27, 42 Name Boston Red Sox (1908–present) Boston Americans (1901-1907) Other nicknames The BoSox, The Olde Towne Team, The Sox Ballpark Fenway Park (1912–present) Huntington Avenue Baseball Grounds... Anthony Nomar Garciaparra[1] (born July 23, 1973, in Whittier, California)[2] is an American baseball player who currently plays third base for the Los Angeles Dodgers. ... For other events named World Series, see World Series (disambiguation). ... The Los Angeles Lakers are a National Basketball Association (NBA) team based in Los Angeles, California. ... Elgin Gay Baylor (born September 16, 1934 in Washington, D.C.) is an American former basketball forward. ... The University of Tennessee (UT), sometimes called the University of Tennessee, Knoxville (UT Knoxville or UTK), is the flagship institution of the statewide land-grant University of Tennessee public university system in the American state of Tennessee. ... City Foxborough, Massachusetts Other nicknames The Pats Team colors Nautical Blue, New Century Silver, Red, and White Head Coach Bill Belichick Owner Robert Kraft General manager Bill Belichick (de facto) Mascot Pat Patriot League/Conference affiliations American Football League (1960–69) Eastern Division (1960–69) National Football League (1970–present... Date February 3, 2002 Stadium Louisiana Superdome City New Orleans, Louisiana MVP Tom Brady, Quarterback (New England) Favorite Rams by 14 National anthem Mariah Carey Coin toss George H. W. Bush and Roger Staubach Referee Bernie Kukar Halftime show U2 Attendance 72,922 TV in the United States Network FOX... Drew McQueen Bledsoe (born February 14, 1972) is a former American football quarterback in the NFL known best for his almost eight years of starting for the New England Patriots. ... Thomas Edward Brady, Jr. ... Bret Sergeant Hart (born July 2, 1957) is a retired Canadian professional wrestler and actor, and is a member of the Hart wrestling family. ... World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. ... The screwjob - Earl Hebner calls for the bell as Shawn Michaels holds Bret Hart in the Sharpshooter. ... Beverly Hills 90210 was a popular primetime television soap opera that aired from October 1990 to May 2000 on the Fox Network in the United States and subsequently on various networks around the world. ... Shannen Maria Doherty (born April 12), 1971 is an American actress and television director, perhaps best known for her work as Heather Duke in Heathers, as Brenda Walsh in Beverly Hills, 90210 and as Prue Halliwell in Charmed. ... Tiffani in FHM Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (born January 23, 1974 in Long Beach, California) is an American television and film actress. ... This article is about the current National Football League team. ... Atiim Kiambu Hakeem-ah Tiki Barber (born April 7, 1975 in Roanoke, Virginia) is a news and sports broadcaster, author, and former American football running back for the New York Giants. ... Jeremy Charles Shockey (pronounced ) (born August 18, 1980 in Ada, Oklahoma) is a professional American football player, currently playing tight end for the New York Giants of the National Football League. ... For information on the former Wal-Mart executive, see Tom Coughlin (Wal-Mart). ... Super Bowl XLII will be the 42nd annual championship game of the National Football League (NFL) between the National Football Conference (NFC) and American Football Conference (AFC) champions. ...


He claims that a recently made Tee Martin Principle is the Ewing Theory, saying that "they're the exact same thing!"[9]


Levels of Losing

Another recurring Simmons topic is the 13 Levels of Losing, where he defines, describes and ranks the most painful ways for a sports team to lose, such as the "Stomach Punch" (a game that ends with an opponent making an improbable and game-winning play; the Music City Miracle being a good example), or the "Guillotine" (when your team is hanging tough, but somehow you just know they will fail in the clutch).[10] Not surprisingly, given Simmons' background, he ranks Game 6 of the 1986 World Series as the most painful defeat in sports history. The Music City Miracle is a famous play that occurred at the end of an NFL Wild Card Playoff game between the Tennessee Titans and Buffalo Bills on January 8, 2000 (following the 1999 regular season) at Adelphia Coliseum in Nashville, Tennessee. ... In American sports terminology, clutch means performing well under extreme pressure. ... Dates October 18, 1986–October 25, 1986 MVP Ray Knight (New York) Television network NBC Announcers Vin Scully, Joe Garagiola Umpires John Kibler (NL), Jim Evans (AL), Harry Wendelstedt (NL), Joe Brinkman (AL), Ed Montague (NL), Dale Ford (AL) The 1986 World Series, the 83rd playing of the modern championship...


Simmons revised and updated the list to have 16 levels because of the New York Mets collapse during the 2007 season and Michigan football's loss to Division I-AA Appalachian State. The University of Michigan, Ann Arbor (U of M, U-M, UM or simply Michigan) is a coeducational public research university in the state of Michigan. ...


Common Sayings

Additional Simmons running conventions include referring to players who are no longer effective as having "a giant salad fork sticking out of their back", the Vengeance Scale, the "Juvenation Machine" (used to describe an athlete or team having a strong comeback year), "Theo Ratliff's Expiring Contract" (indicating that player's value as a means of creating salary cap space rather than as an on-court contributor), a cocaine heartbeat (usually referring to trades that should be immediately made) or "I will now light myself on fire" (catchphrase he uses whenever forced to admit an unpleasant truth, such as his 2006 acknowledgment of Kobe Bryant as the player most deserving of the 2006 NBA MVP award). Kobe Bryant (born August 23, 1978) is an American All-Star shooting guard in the National Basketball Association who plays for the Los Angeles Lakers. ... The 2005-06 NBA season was the 60th season of the National Basketball Association. ... National Basketball Association Most Valuable Player Award was first awarded after the 1955-56 NBA season. ...


VP of Common Sense

Simmons recently made the semi-serious suggestion that sports teams should hire a Vice President of Common Sense who would be an average fan essentially taken off the street and given no behind-the-scenes knowledge. This official would be called in to assess important transactions; his reaction would be a gauge to help the team notice obviously poor decisions arising from such problems as bureaucracy, groupthink and hype. By way of introduction to the concept, Simmons said that the VP of Common Sense would have selected Reggie Bush over Mario Williams in the 2006 NFL Draft. Groupthink is a type of thought exhibited by group members who try to minimize conflict and reach consensus without critically testing, analyzing, and evaluating ideas. ... Reginald Alfred Bush II (born March 2, 1985 in San Diego, California), commonly known as Reggie, is an American football player who plays for the New Orleans Saints of the NFL. He has played running back/tailback, wide receiver and punt returner. ... Mario Williams (born January 31, 1985 in Jacksonville, North Carolina) is an American football defensive end for the Houston Texans of the National Football League. ... The 2006 National Football League Draft , the 71st in league history, took place in New York City at Radio City Music Hall on April 29 and April 30, 2006. ...


Reggie Cleveland All-Stars

Simmons also created the "Reggie Cleveland All-Stars", a list of sports figures whose names would seem to indicate that they are of a different race or ethnicity than they actually are. (The namesake is Reggie Cleveland, a white former pitcher with a "black-sounding" name.) Reginald Leslie Cleveland (born on May 23, 1948 in Swift Current, Saskatchewan) is the most successful Canadian ever. ...


Simmons officially designated the following players as All-Stars:

incorrectly listed: William Mack Brown (born August 27, 1951) is head coach of the University of Texas Longhorn football team. ... Reginald Leslie Cleveland (born on May 23, 1948 in Swift Current, Saskatchewan) is the most successful Canadian ever. ... Howard Joseph Kendrick (born July 12, 1983 in Jacksonville, Florida) is an American Minor League Baseball second baseman in the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim organization. ... Jon Lewis Ford (born August 12, 1976 in Beaumont, Texas, USA) is a Major League Baseball outfielder and designated hitter. ... Marcus William Giles (born May 18, 1978 in San Diego, California) is a US Major League Baseball player. ... Archibald Wright Moonlight Graham (November 12, 1877 – August 25, 1965) was an American professional baseball player who appeared as a right fielder in a single major league game for the New York Giants on June 29, 1905. ... Khalil Thabit Greene (born October 21, 1979 in Butler, Pennsylvania) is a Major League Baseball shortstop who plays for the San Diego Padres. ... Jackie Earle Haley (born July 14, 1961 in Northridge, California, USA) is an Academy Award-nominated American actor who is best known for his portrayal of Kelly Leak, the motorcycle-riding, cigarette-smoking little leaguer in The Bad News Bears and its sequels. ... Nate Funk was born on November 7, 1984. ... Micah Owings (born September 28, 1982 in Gainesville, Georgia) is a professional right-handed pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks baseball team. ... Daryl Morey (born 1972) was named assistant general manager of the Houston Rockets on April 3, 2006 and will replace Carroll Dawson as general manager in 2007. ... Enos Bradsher Slaughter (April 26, 1916 - August 12, 2002) was an American baseball player. ... {{infobox NBA Player | image = | name = Darius Songaila | position = Power forward | height_ft = 6| height_in = 8 | weight_lbs = 240 | league = NBA | team = Washington Wizards | nationality = Lithuania | birth_date = February 14, 1978 ) | birth_place = [[Marijampolė], Lithuania | college = Wake Forest | draft = 2nd round, 50th overall | draft_year = 2002 | draft_team = Boston Celtics | career_start = 2002 | career_end = | former_teams = CSKA Moscow (2002... Jarrod Michael Washburn (born August 13, 1974 in La Crosse, Wisconsin) is a Major League Baseball pitcher for the Seattle Mariners. ... Ty Allen Wigginton (born October 11, 1977 in San Diego, California) is an infielder in Major League Baseball for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. ... Reggie 3 and 2 Gene Willits (born May 30, 1981, in Chickasha, Oklahoma) is a Major League Baseball outfielder with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. ... Clancy Pendergast is the current defensive coordinator for the NFLs Arizona Cardinals. ... Darrell Wayne Rasner (born January 13, 1981 in Carson City, Nevada) is a major league relief pitcher for the New York Yankees. ...

It is not clear whether Simmons realizes Grady Sizemore is of mixed race. Many others have been nominated on various websites. He also noted in his 2006 NBA Draft diary that Patrick O'Bryant, a first round pick of the Golden State Warriors, was a "mortal lock" to be named to the All-Star team. In a 2007 column, Simmons named former Denver Broncos linebacker Rulon Jones as a "first-ballot Reggie Cleveland All-Stars Hall of Famer." Grady Sizemore III (born August 2, 1982, in Seattle, Washington) is a Major League Baseball center fielder who currently plays for the Cleveland Indians. ... Patrick OBryant is an NCAA basketball player who is projected to be a lottery pick in the 2006 NBA Draft. ... League/Conference affiliations American Football League (1960-1969) Western Division (1960-1969) National Football League (1970–present) American Football Conference (1970–present) AFC West (1970–present) Current uniform Team colors Broncos Navy Blue, Orange, White[1] Mascot Thunder II (live horse) Miles (person in costume suit) Personnel Owner Pat Bowlen... Rulon Jones (born March 25, 1958 in Salt Lake City, Utah) is a retired American football defensive lineman. ...


In a recent column Bill mentioned that he wanted to name his second child "Nate" so he could create his own Reggie Cleveland All-Star from scratch named Nate Simmons. He said he sounds like a wide receiver/kick returner on the Arizona Cardinals but unfortunately, his wife shot the idea down, briskly. The wide receiver (WR) position in American and Canadian football is the pass-catching specialist. ... In American and Canadian football, a kick returner (KR) is the player on special teams who is primarily responsible to catch kickoffs and attempts to return them in the opposite direction. ... City Glendale, Arizona Other nicknames The Cards, The Birds, Big Red, The Buzzsaw Team colors Cardinal Red, Black, and White Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt Owner Bill Bidwill General manager Rod Graves Mascot Big Red League/Conference affiliations National Football League (1920–present) Western Division (1933-1949) American Conference (1950-1952...


The Tyson Zone

A more recent Simmons meme is the so-called "Tyson Zone," named in honor of boxer Mike Tyson. The Tyson Zone is the status an athlete or celebrity reaches when his or her behavior becomes so outrageous that one would believe any story or anecdote about the person, no matter how shocking or bizarre.[11] For instance, if one would not be surprised to hear reports that a particular athlete agreed to fight a caged lion for a sum of money or started a career of breeding unicorns, that athlete has entered The Tyson Zone. For other meanings of these words, see boxing (disambiguation) or boxer. ... Michael Gerard Tyson (born June 30, 1966) is a former two-time American world heavyweight boxing champion and is the youngest man to have won a world heavyweight title. ... This article is about the mythical creature. ...


People who Simmons has officially listed as Tyson Zone members include:

Simmons has stated that Ben Roethlisberger secretly entered the Tyson Zone during the summer of 2006 after news of his motorcycle accident and a later incident involving a burst appendix, for which he was rushed to the hospital. Roethlisberger's membership indicates that inclusion in the Tyson Zone is not limited to those whose behavior is outlandish, but encompasses also those who have a knack for falling victim to unfortunate yet exceedingly bizarre events. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (born April 16, 1947 in New York City, New York) was a successful high school, collegiate, and professional basketball player. ... Ronald (Ron) William Artest Jr. ... William Gareth Jacob Busey Sr. ... William Roger Clemens (born August 4, 1962, in Dayton, Ohio), is a starting pitcher for the New York Yankees, and is one of the preeminent pitchers in Major League history. ... Najeh Trenadious Monté Davenport (born February 8, 1979 in Raleigh, North Carolina) is an American football running back who plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers. ... Bison Dele (April 6, 1969 – disappeared July 7, 2002), formerly known as Brian Williams (full given name Brian Carson Williams), was an American professional basketball player who finished his career as a center for the NBAs Detroit Pistons. ... This article is about the musician. ... G-Unit is a rap group which consists of 50 Cent, Lloyd Banks, Tony Yayo, Young Buck, (The) Game, R & B singer Olivia and, most recently, Spider Loc. ... Paris Whitney Hilton (born February 17, 1981) is an American celebrity and socialite. ... For other persons named Michael Jackson, see Michael Jackson (disambiguation). ... Stephen Jesse Jackson (born April 5, 1978 in Port Arthur, Texas, USA) is an American professional basketball player for the NBA’s Golden State Warriors. ... Adam Bernard Pacman Jones (born September 30, 1983) is an African American cornerback and kick return specialist currently signed to the Tennessee Titans American football franchise of the National Football League (NFL). ... R. Kelly (born Robert Sylvester Kelly on January 8, 1967 in Chicago, Illinois) is an American R&B and pop singer, songwriter, record producer, and occasional rapper. ... Margot Kidder (born October 17, 1948) is a Canadian-American film and television actress who achieved fame playing Lois Lane in the Superman movies of the 1970s and 1980s. ... Knights 1997 mugshot for probation violation Marion Hugh Knight, Jr. ... Lindsay Dee Lohan[1] (born July 2, 1986) is an American actress and pop music singer. ... Michael Lohan is the father of actress Lindsay Lohan. ... Courtney Love[1] (born Courtney Michelle Harrison on July 9, 1964) is an American rock musician. ... Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth (born Omaroseonee O. Manigault [1] February 15, 1974) is a former participant on Donald Trumps television reality show The Apprentice. ... For the Private Eye journalist see Heather Mills (journalist). ... Liza May Minnelli (born March 12, 1946 in Los Angeles, California) is an Academy Award-winning American actress and singer. ... Brigitte Nielsen as Red Sonja (1985) Brigitte Nielsen (born July 15, 1963 in Rødovre, Denmark as Gitte Nielsen) is a Danish actress who became very popular in 1980s B-movies, most notably as the titular character in Red Sonja, due to her stature (she stands at 6 ft 1... ODB redirects here. ... Terrell Eldorado Owens (pronounced ) (born December 7, 1973) is an American football wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys of the National Football League. ... Tara Reid (born November 8, 1975) is an American actress. ... John Loy Rocker (born October 17, 1974) is a former Major League Baseball relief pitcher who played 3 1/2 seasons with the Atlanta Braves. ... Dennis Keith Rodman (born May 13, 1961) is an American professional basketball player best known for his fierce defensive and rebounding ability, leading the National Basketball Association in rebounds per game for a record seven consecutive years and earning NBA All-Defensive First Team honors seven times, along with five... Ben Roethlisberger (born March 2, 1982, in Lima, Ohio[1]), nicknamed Big Ben, is an American football quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers of the National Football League. ... William Thomas Romanowski (born April 2, 1966 in Vernon, Connecticut) is a former American football player. ... Orenthal James Simpson (born July 9, 1947), commonly known as O. J. Simpson and also just by his initials O.J. and his nickname The Juice, is a retired American football player who achieved stardom at the collegiate and professional levels. ... For other persons of the same name, see Anna Smith. ... Britney Jean Spears (born December 2, 1981) is a Grammy Award-winning[1] American pop singer, dancer, actress, author and songwriter. ... Michael Gerard Tyson (born June 30, 1966) is a former two-time American world heavyweight boxing champion and is the youngest man to have won a world heavyweight title. ... Michael Dwayne Vick (born June 26, 1980 in Newport News, Virginia) is an American football quarterback for the National Football Leagues Atlanta Falcons franchise. ... For the former Indianapolis Colts running back, see Ricky Antwan Williams. ... Ben Roethlisberger (born March 2, 1982, in Lima, Ohio[1]), nicknamed Big Ben, is an American football quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers of the National Football League. ... For other uses, see Motorcycle (disambiguation). ... In human anatomy, the vermiform appendix (or appendix, pl. ...


The term may also be used in adjective form as the word "Tysonic."


Diane Lane All-Stars

Simmons has also referred to celebrities who belong on the Diane Lane All Star Team, meaning older (over 40), attractive female celebs. "Members" of this All Star team include: Diane Lane (born January 22, 1965) is an Academy Award-nominated American actress. ...

Simmons has also noted that Kelly Ripa will join the list as soon as she turns 40. He compares Maria Bello's fortieth birthday to the day when Jack Nicklaus joined the Senior Tour when he turned 50 -- nobody else has a chance for 3-4 years, making Diane Lane the ceremonial Arnold Palmer-type figure. Meredith Baxter (born June 21, 1947) is an American actress. ... Jennifer Beals (born December 19, 1963 in Chicago, Illinois) is a former teen model and American film actress who is best known for her role as Alexandra Alex Owens in the 1983 movie Flashdance and as Bette on the lesbian themed drama series The L Word Beals was born to... Maria Elaine Bello (born April 18, 1967) is an American actress. ... Jacqueline Bisset (born Winifred Jacqueline Fraser-Bisset on 13 September 1944) is an English actress. ... Sandra Annette Bullock (born July 26, 1964) is a German-American film actress. ... Julie Frances Christie (born 14 April 1941) is an Academy Award-, Golden Globe-, BAFTA Award-, and Screen Actors Guild Award-winning British actress. ... Sheryl Suzanne Crow (born February 11, 1962) is an American singer-songwriter and musician. ... Cheryl Hines (born September 21, 1965) is an American actress famous for her role as Larry Davids wife on HBOs Curb Your Enthusiasm. ... Arianna Huffington (born Arianna Stassinopoulos (Greek: Αριάννα Στασινόπουλου) on July 15, 1950 in Athens, Greece) is an author and nationally syndicated columnist in the United States. ... Diane Lane (born January 22, 1965) is an Academy Award-nominated American actress. ... Lori Loughlin (born July 28, 1964) is an American television actress, best known for her role as Rebecca Donaldson on the ABC comedy series Full House. ... Terri Nunn (born June 26, 1961 in Los Angeles, California) is an American actress and singer. ... Rene Russo Rene Russo (born February 17, 1954 in Burbank, California, USA) is an American film actress and model. ... Jaclyn Smith (born October 26, 1947) is a Golden Globe-nominated American actress. ... Sharon Vonne Stone (born March 10, 1958) is an American actress, producer, and former fashion model. ... Maura Lynn Tierney (born February 3, 1965) is an Emmy-nominated American actress, known for her roles on television, particularly as a cast member of the 1990s situation comedy NewsRadio and, later, the long-running medical drama ER. // After appearing in several plays, she moved to Los Angeles, California and... Jo Raquel Tejada (born September 5, 1940), best known by her stage name Raquel Welch, is an American actress who reached fame during the 1960s. ... Kelly Maria Ripa (born October 2, 1970) an American Daytime Emmy Award-winning actress, television personality and talk show host. ... Jack William Nicklaus (born January 21, 1940), also known as The Golden Bear,[1] is widely regarded as the greatest professional golfer of all time, in large part because of his records in major championships. ...


Sneaky Hot Hall of Fame

First referenced in a 2007 column,[12] Simmons described Jamie-Lynn Sigler as "one of those celebs who is prettier in person than on TV", and started the "Sneaky Hot Hall of Fame": Jamie-Lynn Sigler (born May 15, 1981), previously also known as Jamie-Lynn DiScala, is an American actress. ...

Lauren Helen Graham (born March 16, 1967) is a Golden Globe-nominated American actress. ... Laura Leggett Linney[1][2] (born February 5, 1964) is an Academy Award-nominated and Emmy Award-winning American actress, active in movies, television, and theatre. ... This article is about the actress. ... Diane Sawyer is a television journalist for the U.S. network ABC News and co-anchor of ABCs Good Morning America, along with with Robin Roberts. ... Jamie-Lynn Sigler (born May 15, 1981), previously also known as Jamie-Lynn DiScala, is an American actress. ... Lori Loughlin (born July 28, 1964) is an American television actress, best known for her role as Rebecca Donaldson on the ABC comedy series Full House. ...

The Lindsey Hunter All Stars

In his August 10, 2007 mailbag, Simmons, with a reader's help, added a new category "The Lindsey Hunter All Stars", a list of male athletes with names that make them sound like a hot girl. is the 222nd day of the year (223rd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ...


Simmons has the following players as All-Stars:

Andrea Bargnani, nicknamed Il Mago (translated to The Magician), (born October 26, 1985 in Rome, Italy) is an Italian professional basketball player with the Toronto Raptors of the National Basketball Association. ... Tatum Antoine Bell (born March 2, 1981 in Dallas, Texas) is an NFL running back with the Detroit Lions. ... Patrick Keary Jerel Colbert (born May 21, 1982 in Oxnard, California) was the Carolina Panthers second round pick in the 2004 NFL Draft. ... Covelli Loyce Coco Crisp (born November 1, 1979, in Los Angeles, California) is a Major League Baseball center fielder for the Boston Red Sox. ... Lynn Greer (born October 23, 1979 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) is an American professional basketball player for Olympiacos BC. // He attended Temple University where he played for John Chaneys Owls. ... Aubrey Lewis Huff (born December 20, 1976 in Fort Worth, Texas) is a Major League Baseball player for the Houston Astros. ... Ashley Jovon Lelie (born February 16, 1980, in Bellflower, California) is an American football wide receiver for the Denver Broncos of the NFL. He was drafted out of the University of Hawaii by the Broncos with the 19th pick in the first round of the 2002 NFL Draft. ... Brook Lopez (born April 1, 1988 in North Hollywood, California) is a 70 American basketball player who played for Stanford in the Pacific-Ten Conference of the NCAA and is waiting for the NBA draft for his new team. ... Tracy Lamar McGrady Jr (born May 24, 1979, in Bartow, Florida) is an American professional basketball player, currently positioned at starting shooting guard for the Houston Rockets in the National Basketball Association (NBA). ... Zaza Pachulia, born Zaur Pachulia[1] (Georgian: ზაზა ფაჩულია) (born February 10, 1984 in Tbilisi, Georgian SSR, Soviet Union (present Georgia)), is a Georgian professional basketball player for the Atlanta Hawks of the NBA. // Pachulia was a very successful basketball player at a very early age in Georgia. ... Samie Parker (born March 25, 1981 in ??) is an NFL wide receiver currently playing for the Kansas City Chiefs. ... Alexis Israel Rios (born February 18, 1981 in Coffee, Alabama) is a right fielder in Major League Baseball who plays for the Toronto Blue Jays. ... Jamie Walker is a pitcher who currently plays for the Detroit Tigers and has a career ERA of 4. ... James Kelley Washington (born August 21, 1979 in Stephens City, Virginia) is an American football wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals of the NFL. He was selected with the first pick of the third round of the 2003 NFL Draft out of the University of Tennessee where he wore the... Lee Evans - Wikipedia /**/ @import /skins-1. ... Sidney Rice (born September 1, 1986, in Gaffney, South Carolina) was a wide receiver for University of South Carolina. ... Lindsey Benson Hunter (born December 3, 1970, in Utica, Mississippi) is a professional basketball player in the National Basketball Association. ...

Gambling

Simmons commonly makes gambling references in his articles. He typically prefaces gambling remarks with the statement, "if gambling were legal."[13]


Manning Face

The Manning face is a known facial expression displaying a mix of frustration and disgust. It is most often displayed by NFL quarterback Peyton Manning and his younger brother, Eli,[14] although Eli's recent victory in Super Bowl XLII over Simmons' beloved Patriots may grant him exclusion from this label. Photographs from the 1862 book Mécanisme de la Physionomie Humaine by Guillaume Duchenne. ... NFL logo For other uses of the abbreviation NFL, see NFL (disambiguation). ... Navy quarterback Aaron Polanco sets up to throw. ... Peyton Williams Manning (born March 24, 1976 in New Orleans, Louisiana) is an American football quarterback who plays for the Indianapolis Colts of the National Football League. ... Elisha Nelson Eli Manning (born January 3, 1981 in New Orleans, Louisiana) is a professional American football player and the starting quarterback for the New York Giants of the NFL. He is the younger brother of Peyton Manning and Cooper Manning and the son of Archie Manning. ...


Although the expression was named for the Manning brothers, the term has become synonymous with other professional sports players and coaches, including New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin.[15] It was coined in 2004[16] and was later defined by Malcolm Gladwell as "the look of someone who has just faced up to a sobering fact: I am in complete control of this offense. I prepare for games like no other quarterback in the NFL. I am in the best shape of my life. I have done everything I can to succeed -- and I'm losing. Ohmigod. I'm not that good."[17] Simmons still refers to this despite his own home team's loss in the 2007 playoffs, later writing "Eli Manning gave me the Eli Manning face!"[18]
This article is about the current National Football League team. ... For information on the former Wal-Mart executive, see Tom Coughlin (Wal-Mart). ... Malcolm Gladwell Malcolm Gladwell (born September 1, 1963) is a United Kingdom-born, Canadian-raised journalist now based in New York City who has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1996. ...


I'm Keith Hernandez

When a person seems to do something completely off the wall and/or completely outrageous for no other reason than he or she is famous and feels he can get away with it or not face repercussions from it, Simmons will say he is having an "I'm Keith Hernandez Moment". The reference comes from the famous Seinfeld episode where Keith Hernandez, on a date with Elaine, tries to convince himself to kiss Elaine by reciting (in his head), "Wait a second - I'm Keith Hernandez!" The most commonly used example of an athlete in an "I'm Keith Hernandez" Moment is Reggie Bush's ill-advised lateral against Texas in the 2006 Rose Bowl. This article is about the sitcom. ... The Boyfriend, Part 2 is the thirty-fifth episode of the hit sitcom Seinfeld. ... Keith Hernandez (born October 20, 1953 in San Francisco, California) is a former Major League Baseball first baseman, who played for the St. ... Elaine Marie Benes is a fictional character on the American television sitcom Seinfeld (1989–1998), played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. ... Reginald Alfred Bush II (born March 2, 1985 in San Diego, California), commonly known as Reggie, is an American football player who plays for the New Orleans Saints of the NFL. He has played running back/tailback, wide receiver and punt returner. ... Head coach Mack Brown Ninth year, 93–22 Home stadium Darrell K. Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium Capacity 85,123 - grass Conference Big 12 - South First year 1893 Athletic director DeLoss Dodds Website mackbrown-texasfootball. ... 2006 Rose Bowl Bowl game Texas Longhorns at USC Trojans USC Trojans (12-0) 38 January 4, 2006 Rose Bowl Stadium in Pasadena, California The 2006 Rose Bowl Game was the final game and national championship of the 2005-2006 Bowl Championship Series (BCS) and the 92nd Rose Bowl Game. ...


References

  1. ^ Bill Simmons '92 is "Boston's Sports Guy", HolyCross.com, College of the Holy Cross, 2001-06-01. Retrieved on 2008-02-11.
  2. ^ Simmons, Bill. "So long, hockey; Allison deal is last straw", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2001-10-26. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  3. ^ Simmons, Bill. "And my team is ...", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2006-07-19. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  4. ^ Simmons, Bill. "The Sports Guy's Top Sports Movies: No. 11", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2005-11-27. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  5. ^ Simmons, Bill. "Nothing tops Vegas and hoops", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2007-07-18. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  6. ^ Simmons: "Certain Promises Were Not Kept"
  7. ^ Simmons, Bill. "Welcome to the glossary", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2007-08-14. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  8. ^ Simmons, Bill. "Ewing Theory 101", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2001-05-09. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  9. ^ Another large side order of links [1]
  10. ^ Simmons, Bill. "The 13 levels of losing", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2002-05-28. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  11. ^ Simmons, Bill. "Hunkering down in the mailroom", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2004-12-17. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  12. ^ Simmons, Bill. "Welcome to the hip-hop Woodstock", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2007-02-22. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  13. ^ Simmons, Bill. "Perfection, triple negatives ... and free tacos!", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2007-10-26. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  14. ^ Gallo, DJ. "Hey Peyton, need some help?", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2006-01-16. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  15. ^ Simmons, Bill. "Finally, some hardware for LT and Tiki", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2008-01-22. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  16. ^ Philbrick, Mike. "A.M. Jump", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2007-01-30. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  17. ^ Simmons, Bill. "Curious Guy: Malcolm Gladwell", ESPN.com, ESPN Internet Ventures, 2006-03-02. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 
  18. ^ Hoffman, Dave. "Simmons-Gladwell Chat", ConcurringOpinions.com, 2006-03-11. Retrieved on 2008-02-11. 

This article is about the year. ... is the 152nd day of the year (153rd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... This article is about the year. ... is the 299th day of the year (300th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2006 (MMVI) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 200th day of the year (201st in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2005 (MMV) was a common year starting on Saturday (link displays full calendar) of the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 331st day of the year (332nd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ... is the 199th day of the year (200th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ... is the 226th day of the year (227th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... This article is about the year. ... is the 129th day of the year (130th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Also see: 2002 (number). ... is the 148th day of the year (149th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2004 (MMIV) was a leap year starting on Thursday of the Gregorian calendar. ... December 17 is the 351st day of the year (352nd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ... is the 53rd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ... is the 299th day of the year (300th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2006 (MMVI) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 16th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 22nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ... is the 30th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2006 (MMVI) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 61st day of the year (62nd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2006 (MMVI) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 70th day of the year (71st in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Anno Domini (or common era), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 42nd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ...

External links


  Results from FactBites:
 
Barstool Sports: The Case Against Bill Simmons (1000 words)
Simmons, a grace period is a set amount of time that a sports fan must subdue all rational thought in relation to his/her team’s performance in the years immediately following said team’s championship season.
Simmons apparently missed the grace period from November until April because he was too busy posing for Improper Bostonian portraits and pondering how to rehash the same Red Sox championship article for the 17,000th time and passing it off as an original work.
Simmons’ move to the sports netherworld of Los Angeles and his unfortunate corporate world view have combined to destroy his ability to understand that not only is it acceptable to expect another Red Sox championship, but is, in fact, the unalienable right of championship fans everywhere.
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Bill Simmons reflects on the holiday season and wonders if the NFL playoffs are a puzzle or a mystery.
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